Over the summer a friend of mine (another guy) and I were on our way to a BBQ, and we both agreed that we oughta make a stop on the way and bring something there. Like what though? Alcohol, food, perhaps something else? Inside a convenience store, I spotted a box of muffins, and suggested this as a possibility to my buddy. He didn’t think it was a good idea. I asked why not. “Would it be gay for 2 dudes to bring muffins to a party?” He thought so. WHAT’S WRONG WITH MUFFINS? People like muffins, godammit.
In our society, perhaps even more so recently than in the past, guys seems to be applying chapstick publicly everywhere I go. To me, men applying chapstick in plain sight of the general public is, well, very effeminate behavior (gay). First, the obvious reason why — IT REQUIRES THE SAME MOTION AS A WOMAN PUTTING ON LIPSTICK. You look like a woman applying make-up. Number two, don’t be a pussy. “Wah, I have chapped lips.” Go fucking cry about it. You’re a man. You can survive a few minutes with dry lips until you can find a secure location where you can apply your precious chapstick.
muffins = not gay, chapstick = gay.