They (whoever “they” are), always seem to say that funerals aren’t for the dead, and that they are for the living. Well, if that’s true, then weddings aren’t for the bride and groom, they are for the guests —- at least in the following case:
A friend of mine recently told me a story about a time when he worked as security in a downtown Los Angeles high-rise, in a building that often hosted events such as wedding parties. I figured I’d forward this story along.
Inside the building there was a fancy private club on the bottom floor. During an “upper class” wedding this one time, my friend and other members of the security team got called downstairs for a “disturbance.” Upon his arrival, my friend witnessed the groom (obviously drunk as all hell) running around the room, yelling at the bride, “You fucked every guy in here you whore!” Wow. I can’t think of a better way for a couple to start off their new life together as a married couple.
Needless to say, the groom had to be removed…from his own wedding. My friend and the rest of security had to physically remove the guy from the premises, and put him in a cab. While they were carrying the groom out of his own wedding, the groom was giving all the security guys big hugs, and saying stuff like, “You guys are the best. Fuck everyone else in there, they fucked my wife…but you guys are cool.”
This being one of the most drunken debaucherous weddings ever, even after the groom had left, the party continued on — as if nothing even happened. I wonder if the bride ended up going on the honeymoon with someone other than the groom.