For now, I’ll take a break from all the ‘Crosswalk stuff. Don’t worry though, I’ll have more updates with that soon.
For now, I’ll turn my attention to completely unrelated random subjects. God, religion — all that crap. Crap? Actually, I guess I shouldn’t refer to that stuff as crap. After all, god might punish me for it.
Now, I was raised Jewish, although my family was never very religious in the least bit. We more or less just went through the motions and traditions, because well, that’s what most Jews do.
Nevertheless, I was ingrained with certain ideas as a child. For one thing, using the phrase “god damn it” or “god damn this” or “god damn that” —- weren’t exactly encouraged in my household. In fact, I could remember my mother scolding me for occasionally using such phrases. She told me I’d be punished by god if I continued to say such things.
Anyway, flash forward to the present — today I consider myself an “agnostic Jew” — meaning basically I identify myself with the Jewish people, despite at least questioning the idea that a god exists in the first place. But if I had to put money on it, I’d bet that there is no god. Maybe some singular force of nature did indeed get the universe rolling, but surely there is no old man in the sky aware of my every move and thought.
I mean, I consider myself a pretty reasonable and rational person, but even today after I hear myself blurt out something like “Godammit, I don’t think the Mets are going to be very good in 2012″ — I feel a bit of regret afterward. As if god (Mets fan or not) is now mad at me because I said such things.
It’s interesting though to think about that something my mom said to me as kid still has such an effect on me even to this day, as a fully-grown fairly-reasonable adult. I guess the lesson here is one should never underestimate the power religiousness and god-lingo has on a young mind.
If a theist feels the maximum amount of guilt after blurting out a “godammit,” and an atheist feel no guilt whatsoever, where does that leave me? I guess my real question is, now as adult agnostic, am I supposed to feel a little bad each time I say “godammit” or should I just feel guilty —– say, after every other time I use the phrase “godammit” ?…