Adam J. Choit

I’m wondering, has an actor or actress ever changed his/her name to the name of a character he or she portrayed in a film or tv show?  — like if Jaleel White just straight up changed his name to Steve Urkel…

I really can’t imagine what it’s like to live the life of a famous actor, especially one who is primarily really famous for one specific role.  How many times a day while walking around in public must someone yell “Hey Urkel!” when Jaleel White goes by?  Although he’s probably somewhat used to this by now,  I highly doubt Mr. White enjoys being called Urkel by someone every five minutes.  Perhaps, even for a split-second, Jaleel White actually just considered giving in, by going ahead and legally changing his name to Steve Urkel.

I’ve heard of a syndrome (not exactly sure what it’s called) — with actors actually believing they are the characters they portray.  Well, not necessarily believe, but they try to live the life of their character in some way, shape, or form.

I know the Ultimate Warrior, the WWF wrestler from the 1980s and 90s at one point did actually legally change his name to “Warrior” — but I think that was more of a copyright and ownership issue, rather than the guy (Jim Hellwig) believing he’s actually the Ultimate Warrior — although judging from Hellwig’s words, actions, and general history, he might actually think he’s the Ultimate Warrior.

Anyway, I don’t expect Jaleel White to change his name anytime soon, but perhaps Henry Winkler at some point wanted to be Arthur “The Fonz/Fonzie” Fonzarelli in real life?  Who knows?  And who knows if such a thing is even possible, because studios and networks probably own the rights to the names of these fictional characters, anyway.

I tried Googling this scenario, to find out of any actors have ever done it, but the only results I could get was just a bunch of stuff about “stage names” vs. real names of actors, etc.

So let me know if you think of/know of any examples of what I described above.  Thanks.

You’ve heard that I’m sure — that people we know, or even famous people die in threes.  Eh.  I don’t know about that.  Believe it or not, people die all the time.

As far as celebrity people are concerned, there’s just way too much gray area for me to buy into the dying-in-threes thing.  I mean, how famous does one have to be, to be part of the club?  Also, what are the rules with the passage of time? — like if two relatively famous people die, then a third three weeks later — that would count, right?  But what about a third death five weeks later, or seven weeks later?

Recently, we lost Dick Clark, Junior Seau, Maurice Sendak, and just yesterday the hair guy Vidal Sassoon had the nerve to die, making it four reasonably famous people dead, within just 22 days.

So what do you expect me to do?  We’re not gonna change this to the rule-of-fours now, are we?  Maybe we oughta just knock the least famous person out of the bunch.  I think Dick Clark for sure is safe, but with the other three, there’s less clarity.

So in conclusion, there is no “dying-in-threes” — only “dying-in-one-hundred-seven-billions.” (depending on who you ask, give or take a buncha billions+ since the dawn of man 50,000 years ago)

I don’t know if you’ve seen it — that commercial for LegalZoom.com featuring an endorsement from former O.J. Simpson defense attorney and LegalZoom co-founder, Robert Shapiro.  At first I was a bit taken aback.  All my brain heard and saw, were the words “LegalZoom” and “Robert Shapiro.”  After a couple of seconds went by, the name Robert Shapiro rang a bell.  “Hey, isn’t he that guy who helped O.J. get off in the murder trial?  Not Johnnie Cochran.  The other guy.”

Sure, most people probably know Robert Shapiro immediately upon hearing the man’s name, but let me remind you that while it was dubbed “The Trial of the Century,” as a kid, I more or less just saw coverage of the O.J. Simpson murder trial as something that day-after-day just annoyingly interfered with Sports Center’s showing of game highlights.

So anyway, when Shapiro popped up on my TV, I thought to myself, why would I want to work with LegalZoom, a company associated with a man who helped another man essentially get away with murder.  I mean, just because someone is famous, this doesn’t automatically mean he or she is a good fit for selling products and services to the general public.  But after all, this is for LegalZoom and legal services.  So who better to represent an online-lawyering service company than a man who helped a former client literally get away with murder.  So just imagine what they can do for you…

And it’s not that I’m trying to judge Shapiro for his actions (at least not intentionally).  After all, we’re supposed to be entitled to due process and a fair trial.  I say “supposed to be,” given our Federal government’s recent passing of the NDAA (National Defense Authorization Act).  But that’s a topic for another blog, for now just Google “NDAA indefinite detention.”  Because with the NDAA now, even Robert Shapiro might not be able to help you.

Surely you’ve seen in person or on TV, images of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, which are basically engraved stars on the ground in Hollywood.  Engraved inside each individual star is the name one famous person.  This is supposed to be some sort of honor when someone gets his/her own star, marking a significant achievement(s) in the person’s career.

The same goes for really all halls of fames, whether it be baseball, football, or even a hall of fame that isn’t related to sports.  Speaking of sports, one shred of credibility that sports halls of fames have that the Hollywood Walk of Fame doesn’t, is that at least with sports, they don’t induct the athletes until after they retire.  Sports will actually wait until the body of work is complete and can be assessed before giving the distinct honor of induction.  The Hollywood Walk of Fame is always giving away stars to relatively young people, such as actors who are seemingly in their 30′s.

Now, if you remember a few years back, the NCAA passed down heavy sanctions on the USC football program, for improper benefits that former running back Reggie Bush received during his college days.  Technically, the Heisman wasn’t taken away, but amidst outside pressures, Bush opted to return the award.  I say he shoulda kept it.  I mean, despite breaking the rules, it’s not as if he was busted for performance-enhancing drugs.  In other words, whatever benefits Bush received, those benefits didn’t give him an obvious unfair advantage on the field.  He didn’t cheat in that regard.

So anyway, in a world where we can take away Heisman Trophies, why can’t we take away people’s stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?  How come once someone is inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, why must his induction be permanent?  Whether it’s a post-induction discovery that the person was guilty of highly immoral/illegal behaviors, or a realization that the person just really wasn’t deserving of the honor, why can’t we take away these honors?

Whatever.  Besides the incredibly long list of people we’ve never heard of having stars on the Walk of Fame, it’s worth noting that Ryan Seacrest and Ricky Martin have stars as well. I mean, how much of an honor could it really be if those two guys get stars?  While Hollywood has it’s Ricky Martins and Ryan Seacrests, baseball has it’s own Don Suttons and Bert Blylevens (guys that should not be in the Hall of Fame).

I say there’s nothing that says these honors should be permanent, forever.  Sure, it shouldn’t be easy to get someone kicked out of any hall of fame.  But there could be a process.  Signatures to nominate someone to get removed.  Once the magic number of signatures is obtained, then a voting process could come shortly thereafter.  To make things tougher, just make the number high — like it takes at least an 85% vote to kick someone out of a hall of fame.

I have no problem recognizing and celebrating the lives and achievements of those no longer with us.  Often we (not us, but the media really) like to do this on and around the time when the dead person’s birthday would be.  For example, IF Princess Diana was still alive, she’d have turned 50 this year.  Well, the problem is that she’s dead, and is not 50 years old.

Now, Diana was supposedly a wonderful humanitarian, and probably deserves the recognition — even that which comes posthumously.  But let’s not kid ourselves here.  For someone like Diana especially, I’d have to say that much her relevance (especially in America) is a result of just a media push to sell magazines and generate TV ratings with specials.  In addition to the power of the dollar, we humans just love our dates and anniversaries and birthdays.  We have an obsession with these things, and we especially love numbers that are divisible by 5.  Our favorites!

In 2012, while there will be some mention, we know we’re just not going to care as much about Diana hypothetically turning 51.

My question really is, when do we stop celebrating dead people’s birthdays?  I’m sure they’ll be some hoopla for Diana’s woulda-been 55th, 60th, 65th, 70th, and 75th birthdays.  But when does it end?  Will Newsweek and the E! Network make their Diana decisions based on life expectancy in the future?  I mean, we’ll probably be recognizing Diana’s 100th birthday, but what about 110th? or 130th?  It’s not like she’s going to be any less dead in 2091.

Before I continue on, yes, I know he isn’t known as Puff Daddy these days.

Listen, I come from the school of thought that if someone wants to change his/her name, he or she has the right to.  I’m agree with the old Jewish man in the barber shop in the brilliant film, Coming to America. “If a man wants to be called Muhammed Ali, godammit this is a free country, you should respect his wishes, and call the man Muhammed Ali.”

If Chad Johnson wants to be called Chad Ocho Cinco, fine.  If Ron Artest wants to be Metta World Peace, go for it.  Now, I may think it’s stupid and make fun of it, but I’ll call you by whatever you want, and won’t complain that you should change back to your birth name.

With this Puff Daddy, I have no idea if he’s ever processed any official paperwork when he’s changed his names, but nevertheless what impresses me is that everyone goes along with him — and as far as I can recall and see, nobody has any real issues with the name changes.  In fact, whether he’s “Puff Daddy”, “P. Diddy”, “Sean Combs,” “Puffy,” or just “Diddy,” (etc etc), the media and just about everyone else in the world seems to play along by keeping up.

I think part of it is that white people want to seem hip, and with it, so it’s prudent to keep up with all of Diddy’s name changes.

Anyway, sure, people like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar can change a name once and have everyone along for the ride, but Mr. Puffy-Sean-Puff-Daddy-Metta-Combs seems to change that shiz every five minutes and we not only eat it up, but we keep up, too!

Am I supposed to care about this Prince William/Kate what’s-her-name wedding?  I’m sure they’re a lovely young couple, but that still doesn’t mean I care in the least bit about either of them.   I find it amusing (annoying) how much coverage this relatively meaningless event is getting — especially here in the United States.

Um, this wedding is about two Brits getting married, and last time I checked, we declared our Independence from them because that king was being a royal pain the ass.

Thank the lord that our first president George Washington didn’t want to be a king.  I guess the closest thing to a royal family here in the United States would’ve been the Kennedys.

I mean, who else is there?

The Bush family?

The Kardashians?

I can’t even remember who told me this anecdote, but it’s definitely worth repeating.

I think the conversation began by me asking, “Do you think Kobe Bryant ever wears his actual jersey when he’s just walking around in public?”

That’s when I was told that this is something that John Elway has done.  That’s right, he just strolls around the city street rocking his #7 Broncos jersey.

Why does he do this you ask?  Because who would ever actually think some random guy in an Elway jersey, would actually be John Elway himself?

Sometimes dressing like yourself is the best way to not get recognized I guess!

I think it’s something everyone can relate to.  Even if you’re not a sports fan, surely some of your favorites actors or actresses, or pop stars have led questionable lives, and made some rather bad choices along the way.

What are we supposed to do as fans?  If you’re an Eagles fan, should you not cheer for Michael Vick if he makes a nice play on the field?

Should I not listen to Eminem’s music because he’s had various brushes with the law over the years?

We’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t.   Of course, when criminals play for teams that other people like, they are just that, criminals.  However, when criminals are on your team, they are just lovable, yet flawed people, who have clearly changed.

I mean, more or less, it’s a case-by-case type of thing, and it depends on the crime committed.

I mean, take Santonio Holmes, NY Jets football player, who was suspended for a marijuana related offense — I have no problem rooting for him.

Then take the other extreme, OJ Simpson, a murderer —- nobody should root for him, ever.   And nobody will (since he’s retired from football for one thing).  However, Simpson still does have supporters out there.  I’ve actually seen someone wearing an OJ Simpson USC jersey!

I mean, wearing an OJ Simpson jersey doesn’t necessarily mean one condones murder, but nevertheless, it’s in pretty poor taste to rock such a get-up.

Maybe we just need to stop expecting more of those in the public eye.  Instead of expecting more, we should just learn from their mistakes, so we don’t fuck up our own lives in the same exact ways.

Even though his head and body are now probably located in different zip codes, Ted Williams was once not only a spectacular baseball player, but also a financially savvy human.

According to a buddy of mine, the long-time Boston Red Sox legend used to try to pay for stuff using personal checks as much as possible.

His thinking was that, “Well, mostly everyone knows me, and I am awesome.  I am so awesome that people want my autograph.  If my signature is on a check, it probably won’t be cashed.”