Complete Archive
20132012
- Barack Obama & Mitt Romney Debate Rehearsal
- Gymnastics requires the most toughness
- Paterno’s family should probably just lay low
- Protesting Chick-fil-A’s discrimination of gays
- Jewish American Guy Rhymes about the NDAA and the Two-Party System
- Where’s My Crosswalk? — the latest
- “Actors changing their names to their roles”
- “Some thoughts on Words with Friends”
- “Stop it, people don’t die in threes”
- Jewish American Guy Rhymes about Israel and Ron Paul
- “He was bla–, I mean African-American”
- “So, when do I text this girl?”
- “Cool people discover cool stuff before you”
- “Thoughts on Robert Shapiro and LegalZoom”
- Jewish American Guy Rhymes about the Federal Reserve and Ron Paul
- “Godammit I said godammit again”
- Fox 11 in Los Angeles follows up about ‘Crosswalk
- “Where’s My Crosswalk?”
- “Did Mr. Hewlett say funk you to a student?”
- …my recent videos
- “Adam’s Fashion Rescue”
- “My only real home run ever, not including softball in HS gym class”
- "Snail mail shenanigans"
- "Crazy Jewish mother thing, or just crazy person thing?"
- "MaxTall shoe inserts for guys, not so much a fan"
- "What not to say to a date you met online"
- "Amazed by dog sex"
- "You need to get out more"
- "I'd take away some Hollywood stars on that Walk of Fame"
- "How Obama would handle another Katrina"
- Be sure to vote for this blog!
- "Celebrating birthdays of Princess Diana and other dead people"
- "Best wedding ever, at least for the guests"
- "You probably shouldn't post this on Facebook II"
- "You probably shouldn't post this on Facebook"
- "Police lineups for blind people"
- "I'd rather not watch II"
- "There's competive eating, why not competitive burping?"
- "Why the f*ck do people censor themselves for no reason?"
- "Asking homeless people for favors"
- “Why is Rick Perry asking people to fast?”
- "Why Puff Daddy is awesome"
- "I'd rather not watch"
- "That song is sooooo old"
- "Goodbyes at parties and large functions"
- "Can I borrow a piece of paper?"
- "Rooting for USA"
- "Another reason for the rest of the world to hate America"
- "Summerwear for gang members"
- "Words with Friends addiction, I guess"
- "Going to the movies alone"
- "Women's and men's shaving creams/gels, same stuff"
- "Pointless alarms that go off that nobody cares about"
- "Is it wrong to pet a stranger's dog without asking for permission?
- "Reacting to Osama Bin Laden reactions"
- "Making pool more fair for people who suck at it"
- "Oh I'd never date a coworker = lie"
- "Am I homophobic because I don't want a massage from a guy?"
- "I don't give a shit about The Royal Wedding"
- "What's taking him/her so long to text back!?"
- "Here, smell this milk for me"
- "When is it okay for a man to cry?"
- "Military flyovers are a waste of time and money"
- "Repulsed and disappointed by poop"
- "Capital letters, exclamation points, & capitals with exclamation points"
- "It's true I have a middle initial but no middle name"
- "Baby naming when it comes to Jews and gentiles"
- "Choosing doctors vs. choosing dentists"
- "Having fun with the memo section on checks"
- "Hashtags and learning about Twitter"
- "Bottled water brand loyalty"
- "Car horns in radio ads sometimes scare me while I'm driving"
- "Searched terms that got people here II"
- "Zdeno Chara is innocent"
- "Even though they are nuts, I'll defend BYU a bit"
- "Doesn't identify as male or female"
- "I like Wendy's burgers more than McDonald's, Burger King, and In-N-Out"
- "How's your life?"
- "What's with these Mao posters?"
- "Weather affects the delivery guy's tip"
- "The worst Family Feud question ever"
- "I don't think I'm ever going to like Opera music"
- "Lay off picky eaters"
- "In & Out Burger, must you be so open with me about everything?"
- "What about mom's approval?"
- "How to avoid paying baggage fees on your flight"
- "Birds pooping on you is good luck?
- "Who said you're allowed to take my picture?"
- "Hermaphrodites dating each other"
- "Be careful what you leave in the office printer"
- "Sugarcoating in moderation"
- "I would call the cops on ghosts"
- "Buh-bye & bye-bye"
- "Arguing neighbors: be loud enough for us to hear, or shut up"
- "Those guys with arrow-shaped signs"
- "Gum vs. Mints, biggest battle since Red Vines vs. Twizzlers"
- "Dating amputees"
- "How to talk and eat at the same time"
- "Problem with board games in the 21st century"
- "Silly MLK Day convo"
- "Clean up after pets – oh yeah? which ones?"
- "The Costco free sample infomercial-robot people"
- "Poor October 11th"
- "Skype stuff"
- "I DON'T want to live life to the fullest"
- "Plungers and gender politics"
- "Presents given in bags are not real presents"
- "Merry Christmas says the person at the store"
- "Rules for saying Happy New Year"
- "Little moments on the road"
- "Bob Smith has checked in at…."
- "I think we often forget…"
- "Tilt the floor"
- "Sacrificing your body for the economy"
- "Good graffiti"
- "Affliction. Affection. Affiction?"
- "Chicks like yogurt, and so do a lot of people"
- "You better love yourself"
- "More stuff on hypenated names"
- "Unused comeback to a cripple"
- "Cannibalism, maybe not so bad"
- "Boxed salads"
- "John Elway: Maybe not as dumb as we all thought!"
- "The right NOT to vote"
- "Shit, I just realized I don't know how to play piano, either"
- "Shit, I just realized I don't know karate"
- "No excuse for not applauding"
- "Cell phones on stage"
- "Adam's Fashion Rescue"
- "My Fashion Rescue video…coming very soon"
- "Rooting for criminals"
- "The War on Fat"
- "Great skills jobs could care less about"
- "Remember, sometimes it's ok to not like your parents"
- "Seatbelt laws"
- "Sponsors sponsoring sponsors"
- "Random stuff still in my phone V"
- "People who think horror films are funny"
- "Windex and bugs"
- "So when should I wash my jeans?"
- "Unknown number, yay"
- "Less offensive in your native language"
- "Random stuff still in my phone IV"
- "Random stuff still in my phone III"
- "Random stuff still in my phone II"
- "Random stuff still in my phone"
- "Strategy for dealing with drunk drama"
- "I think I'm sorry I missed your party"
- "4-1-1 to get 9-1-1"
- "A couple more thoughts on the Ground Zero mosque"
- "YouTube parties/bars"
- "Getting the most out of your Soy Vay"
- "Searched terms that got people here"
- "Sucked Out"
- "Premature mastication, and some rather pointless analysis of it"
- "Rules for shirtless dudes on Facebook"
- "Saying hi to blind strangers"
- "To the defense of athletes who thank Jesus"
- "Is it wrong to dress as two different groups of people?"
- "Major League Baseball = model for abortion policies?"
- "B.B. King: fat, old, and awesome"
- "FYI, some stuff about FYI"
- "Not married, so what are you?
- "Gentile mezuzah"
- "Facial hair rebellion"
- "To die for"
- "Mosque on ground zero"
- "What people like me would do in prison"
- "Gays on Kiss Cam"
- "Dude wearing the LeBron James Heat jersey in Cleveland, whata dummy"
- "Can atheists be superstitious?"
- "Coincidence, or something to do with me?"
- "Stadium-style seating"
- "Stickers and tags on hats, stop that"
- "People who burn albums deserve to be burned themselves"
- "Music probably didn't save your life"
- "Where to?"
- "Septembuary"
- "Some theories on the whereabouts of female pilots"
- "Pat on the butt, really?"
- "Rules for stopping for car accidents"
- "Too much? / Too soon?"
- "I guess beggars can be choosers"
- "Phillies manager = worst human being ever"
- "Free money, but not charity"
- "Scarier than losing my keys down the garbage chute"
- "Ice cream man!……….not"
- "Luckily there are plenty others to make fun of"
- "Some thoughts on fighting in hockey"
- "Not every short man has a Napoleon complex dammit"
- "USA should win the World Cup, and let the world shit a brick"
- "I quit quitting!"
- "What would piss you off more?"
- "Uh, I'm pretty sure that's a fake I.D."
- "Ted Williams = financial genius"
- "Rule for free sample seconds"
- "Too many burgers, not enough buns!"
- "Couples wearing opposing jerseys at games"
- "Yo where these shoelaces at?"
- "Cats and babies on YouTube"
- "Restaurant train with host as conductor"
- "What did technology ever do to you?"
- "What did your parents eat the night you were conceived?"
- "The new school way to shop (at Target)"
- "One more thing that scares me about America"
- "Stop hosing down your driveway, you fucking asshole"
- "Underwater sports fans?"
- "Sleep-productive"
- "3 random quickies – Pepto Bismol, window shopping, & O.P.P."
- "There's no way in hell the devil exists"
- "Paper towels kick the ass of paper napkins"
- "Eventually we'll be worshipping Darwin"
- "Fold those plates in half I say"
- "My friend scale"
- "To wash first or wear right away, that is the question"
- "Outside food policies"
- "Housekeeping you want me jerk you off?"
- "I hope that's not symbolic of your married life"
- "For one thing, these changes to Facebook make me look like a gay criminal"
- "Defending Trey Parker & Matt Stone"
- "The Mascot, starring Mickey Rourke"
- "Evil thoughts"
- "Please don't repeat this"
- 4/28 – "Rename the streets"
- 4/26 – "I don't like this honey, honey"
- 4/24 – "Solo footjobs"
- 4/21 – "Intercom fun at Jeremy's"
- 4/20 – "Jason Taylor needs to be hazed"
- 4/18 – "Clapping as a gesture, without sound"
- 4/16 – "Home Depot – a murderer's warehouse?"
- 4/14 – "A way to free education"
- 4/13 – "I say Obama should smoke during his speeches"
- 4/11 – "Expiration date"
- 4/9 – "No Martini field"
- 4/7 – "So where do all these slackers in California live?"
- 4/5 – "CC-ing people on texts"
- 4/4 – "Not all of the 10 Plagues are so bad"
- 4/2 – "Karotty"
- 4/1 – "Oh I thought you were referring to those other nipples"
- 3/31 – "Pole dancing in the Olympics"
- 3/29 – "Family size"
- 3/28 – "Is everyone nuts?"
- 3/25 – "Chicken pecs"
- 3/24 – "Mad at me? Just say hi and bye"
- 3/23 – "Music system at work"
- 3/22 – "Grandmas and their bizarre lingo"
- 3/21 – "Still impressed by solar powered calculators"
- 3/19 – "E-vitations and football injuries"
- 3/18 – "Rules for Abbey Road"
- 3/16 – "Maybe our country is going down the shitter after all"
- 3/14 – "Homosexual couples can wait on having kids"
- 3/13 – "Fat vegetarians"
- 3/11 – "Sports sex metaphors in other countries"
- 3/10 – "I agree with Chappelle about Pepe Le Pew"
- 3/9 – "Normal Bozzzy texting"
- 3/8 – "I'm a community activist now"
- 3/7 – "Shirtless bartenders"
- 3/5 – "Is that your swagger, or are you injured?"
- 3/4 – "Wouldn't it be awesome if…"
- 3/2 – "When I grow up, I want to be a sideline reporter"
- 3/1 – "Tic Tacs and Kit Kats"
- 2/27 – "That'd be too comfortable"
- 2/25 – "Don't buy Bailey's Irish Cream"
- 2/24 – "If no risk of casualties, where I'd like to be during an earthquake"
- 2/22 – "There's no excuse for seats with obstructed views"
- 2/21 – "Woman with cat in traffic"
- 2/20 – "I'm gonna be bad"
- 2/18 – "Quick silly one"
- 2/17 – "Home Alone sends weird messages to kids"
- 2/16 – "White sneakers prove mom wrong"
- 2/15 – "Letter shaped groins and such"
- 2/13 – "Grandaddy issues"
- 2/12 – "More ignorance in L.A. when it comes to Italian food"
- 2/10 – "Defending the bridge (bitchstick)"
- 2/9 – "An easy way to mess with people"
- 2/8 – "Oooooh, you law breaker"
- 2/6 – "Maybe you're better when you ACTUALLY place the bet!"
- 2/4 – "How to improve Groundhog Day"
- 2/3 – "Experience scary, funny, and sad all within 30 seconds"
- 2/2 – "Maximum heights for feistiness"
- 2/1 – "You have to earn those upper-case letters"
- 1/30 – "Defending celebrity Lakers fans"
- 1/28 – "Another example of why cats are so smart"
- 1/27 – "Rain and timing"
- 1/25 – "Quirky people, smooth people"
- 1/24 – " Missed call"
- 1/22 – " It’s okay, pay whatever you want"
- 1/21 – "Soon it'll be only sporks"
- 1/20 – "Criticism (and support) of marathon runners"
- 1/19 – "Avatar 2: Avatard"
- 1/18 – "A moment at the gas station"
- 1/17 – "Football hijinks"
- 1/14 – "Cute girls don't drive vans"
- 1/13 – "Why no 24 hour Chinese food?"
- 1/12 – "Smog pizza"
- 1/10 – "Text or call?"
- 1/8 – "Gay boobs"
- 1/7 – "Don't worry, I will tell you how much weed I want"
- 1/6 – "What stops me from breaking parking meters?"
- 1/5 – "Epsom salt — does it all?"
- 1/4 – "No PJ's at work"
- 1/2 – "Phone number switcher backers"
- 1/1 – "Please walk on the escalators"
- 12/30 – "Hard to shop for"
- 12/28 – "What do sheep herders count before they go to sleep?"
- 12/27 – "Remember Winamp?"
- 12/24 – "Trains in Los Angeles"
- 12/22 – "Lefty air guitar"
- 12/21 – "Rubbernecking has it's time and place"
- 12/20 – "I don't believe in seasonal colors"
- 12/17 – "Grandpa Sammy's eulogy"
- 12/16 – "Tiger Woods — what’s so shocking about all this?"
- 12/15 – "I like gum, sometimes a lot"
- 12/14 – "A snowman is atheist"
- 12/12 – "Rare booger event"
- 12/10 – Grape Blow Pops — actually good"
- 12/9 – "My style in a nutshell"
- 12/8 – "Eggnog sucks"
- 12/7 – "Vibrators, dildos, blow-up dolls, Fleshlights, and society"
- 12/6 – "That should be your status"
- 12/5 – "It's okay, you can use my bathroom"
- 12/3 – "Being one's own worst enemy is not so bad"
- 12/2 – "Apparently my co-workers like me"
- 12/1 – "Was Hitler ticklish?"
- 11/30 – "Force your kid to play music"
- 11/27 – "Rather be a VIP than a very important person"
- 11/19 – "One man’s filler is another man’s treasure"
- 11/18 – "Don't ask me if your girlfriend is hot"
- 11/17 – "I don’t have much sympathy for people attacked by animals"
- 11/16 – "I found another Jew for you"
- 11/14 – "I hate the insert key"
- 11/12 – "Philosophy on killing bugs"
- 11/11 – "You look tired…gee thanks"
- 11/9 – "Alicia Keys is in denial of her black heritage"
- 11/8 – "More kissing in porn"
- 11/6 – "For couples, TV is more important than religion"
- 11/5 – "Shit, I'm turning into my dad"
- 11/4 – "Kudos to Dan Aykroyd"
- 11/3 – "Me and my pajama pants"
- 11/2 – "Soul mates"
- 11/1 – "No wonder Detroit is bankrupt"
- 10/30 – "Cell phone pocket positioning"
- 10/29 – "Hydrox the dog"
- 10/27 – "Fashion-forward"
- 10/26 – "Wear a Halloween costume, thanks"
- 10/25 – "Strange microwave times"
- 10/24 – "Rearranging keyboard keys is a good prank"
- 10/22 – "Handshaking girls"
- 10/20 – "De-dustifier"
- 10/19 – "Heavenfood"
- 10/18 – "Naked, but with belt with cupholders"
- 10/16 – "Adolescent girls and soy sauce"
- 10/15 – "Good channel flippers"
- 10/13 – "Fuck SOME cops"
- 10/11 – "Kid Hunters"
- 10/9 – "The Charlie Murphy of cooking"
- 10/7 – "Halloween-themed parks scare me"
- 10/5 – "Something's gotta be done about straight line cleavage"
- 10/3 – "Tattoo misspellings"
- 10/2 – "When I poop I think of you, but in a good way"
- 10/1 – "Back off, I have a lawyer"
- 9/26 – "What if Chad Ochocinco gets traded?"
- 9/23 – "Perhaps some regrets about Spanish"
- 9/22 – "Some sympathy for rabbits"
- 9/21 – "Record keeping in the post-nuclear world"
- 9/20 – "The more I sobered up, the hotter you got"
- 9/19 – "I'm good with names"
- 9/16 – "Changing religions is not as weird"
- 9/15 – "Changing political parties is weird"
- 9/13 – "I'm clean, but be careful with the white underwear"
- 9/12 – "Peeling labels is classy and romantic"
- 9/9 – "I should probably be writing porn"
- 9/7 – "Jets fans are nomads…too"
- 9/6 – "Baffled by mustache people"
- 9/5 – "Quickest orphan of all time"
- 9/4 – "Amputees are most sexually generous?
- 9/2 – "Some stuff on last names and marriage"
- 8/31 – "Um, Mike Tyson still sucks"
- 8/30 – "That's what you've been up to?"
- 8/28 – "Women on their periods in Britain"
- 8/27 – "Discovery Zone for adults"
- 8/25 – "Lyrics without music"
- 8/23 – "What makes a good ringtone"
- 8/22 – "Phillies fans are nice assholes"
- 8/19 – "The existence of god versus love"
- 8/18 – "The best kind of murderers"
- 8/17 – "Posting injury pics"
- 8/15 – "Free advertising on t-shirts"
- 8/13 – "Wolfenstein – trivializes the Holocaust?"
- 8/12 – "Don’t touch my hair"
- 8/11 – "White people like NCAA more than NBA basketball"
- 8/10 – "White people Madea viewing party"
- 8/8 – "Yankee Stadium's name isn't what you think"
- 8/6 – "Online dating and the pain it forward"
- 8/5 – "Sleeping Alone t-shirt"
- 8/4 – "Less angry at drivers of fancy cars"
- 8/3 – "Self-hating species"
- 7/30 – Most retarded commercial ever"
- 7/28 – "People food follow-up: Centrum Multivitamins & baby food"
- 7/27 – "Vikings should sign Michael Vick instead of Brett Favre"
- 7/25 – "Imitation is NOT NECESSARILY the highest form of flattery"
- 7/23 – "Walter Cronkite Memorial Chicken Dinner"
- 7/21 – "Send in someone else"
- 7/20 – "You don't notice when things don't happen"
- 7/19 – "Hotels with clean rooms"
- 7/17 – "Funny George IM exchange"
- 7/16 – "Not The Staples Center"
- 7/14 – "The liberal media & Obama's first pitch conspiracy"
- 7/13 – "Solution to flimsy baby necks"
- 7/12 – "Gandhi, kids, and school"
- 7/11 – "Restaurant hat etiquette"
- 7/9 – "Michael Jackson shoulda recorded Thriller around 2001"
- 7/8 – "Endy Chavez defies science"
- 7/7 – "People who look insane, but might not be insane"
- 7/6 – "Ghosts of our forefathers in Whole Foods"
- 7/4 – "Fireworks on TV, lol"
- 7/3 – "You're not my father!"
- 7/2 – "National Examiner too irresponsible for even a rag"
- 6/30 – "Rx on TV"
- 6/28 – “Free medical advice from the CVS pharmacist"
- 6/27 – "What'd you do with my mountains?"
- 6/25 – "One more Iran disclaimer"
- 6/24 – "Iraq, Iran, more sadness"
- 6/23 – "Maybe I’ll start carrying a motorcycle helmet around"
- 6/22 – "A couple of irritants in spoken language"
- 6/21 – "How you know it's a pretty good fart…"
- 6/20 – "Um, none of us have dial-up"
- 6/18 – “John Smith does not like this”
- 6/17 – "Turning Lakers riots into something positive"
- 6/16 – "One more thing on Palin/Letterman"
- 6/15 – "People who say they hate religion"
- 6/14 – "Employees must wash hands"
- 6/13 – "How I can recognize a spam comment"
- 6/11 – "Kelley and her crazy baseball stats"
- 6/10 – "Pretty much a pre-mixed Vodka-Red Bull"
- 6/9 – "Mom joke of the day"
- 6/8 – "March Madness conspiracy 3 months later"
- 6/7 – "Donald Trump is just absurd"
- 6/6 – "Chopper nearby"
- 6/4 – "United States of Australia"
- 6/3 – "Some thoughts on winking"
- 6/2 – "Just porn alone isn't good enough for me anymore"
- 6/1 – "Breathalyzers should really come with all cars"
- 5/31 – "Fuck that, Ryan Phillipe should be photographing me"
- 5/29 – "I try to do Windows update but it goes to Google English instead"
- 5/27 – "Too lazy to turn around, so just send it to me"
- 5/26 – "Name for a big clit"
- 5/25 – "Get rid of helmets II: This Time in Roller Derby"
- 5/23 – "The devil returns every 25 years"
- 5/22 – "Let's pause for a moment of room tone"
- 5/21 – "What happens if the entire Denver Nuggets team gets arrested?"
- 5/20 – "Beer cans that let you know when they are cold"
- 5/19 – "When instant messaging lyrics to Bozzz turns dirty"
- 5/18 – "Facebook funeral photos"
- 5/17 – "You look more Jewwy in that color"
- 5/16 – "But I wanted to yell at Manny"
- 5/15 – "Do your own dental work"
- 5/13 – "Carlos Beltran is Moletran"
- 5/11 – "Check for 26 cents"
- 5/10 – "Oh, this dog/cat musta’ been abused when he was younger"
- 5/8 – "Fast food dates"
- 5/6 – “Unconditional Facebook love for Obama”
- 5/5 – "Ways to greatly improve glory holes"
- 5/4 – "Is the Dirty Sanchez is out of style?"
- 5/3 – "Kitty applying to be my accountant?"
- 5/2 – "Pimp my wheelchair"
- 4/30 – "Don’t you feel like crying?"
- 4/28 – "Fast food chefs"
- 4/27 – "Michael Vick is a better person than Barry Bonds, really America?"
- 4/26 – "Jennie-O Turkey Burgers"
- 4/25 – "Too lazy to download music illegally"
- 4/23 – "Carrie Jensen should be one of Obama’s economic advisors"
- 4/22 – "Slow and painful death for Myspace"
- 4/21 – "I guess I'm not that afraid of a nuclear bomb"
- 4/19 – "What is the proper way to eat French fries?"
- 4/18 – "DeFrankos somehow landed in Van Nuys, California"
- 4/17 – "Rules for choosing your second favorite team"
- 4/16 – "Celebrities should stop adopting kids from foreign countries"
- 4/14 – "Don't judge a movie by it's premise"
- 4/13 – "Mos Def sounds like/is an idiot"
- 4/12 – "Idea for Facebook – What kind of poop are you?"
- 4/11 – "I want to go back on a meal plan"
- 4/10 – "Kittens, dating, and IM-ing people who aren't there"
- 4/9 – "Grandma and her ridiculous jokes"
- 4/8 – "Question about Billy Joel’s Keeping the Faith"
- 4/7 – "I hate it when the cat makes me feel guilty"
- 4/6 – "People with name tags"
- 4/5 – "Slumdog Millionaire should've starred Regis Phibin"
- 4/2 – "Reflections in the toilet"
- 4/1 – "Help me I'm blind"
- 3/31 – "Idea for skit/game"
- 3/30 – "Upside down money"
- 3/28 – "People who buy tuna in vegetable oil"
- 3/26 – "My debut greatest hits concept album"
- 3/25 – "Wtf was I trying to say?"
- 3/24 – "I hate self-proclaimed street smart white people"
- 3/23 – "Spinoffs with the animals"
- 3/22 – "Networking"
- 3/21 – "Instead of going on a weekend trip, let's get sex changes"
- 3/19 – "I want video games to be MORE violent"
- 3/18 – "Hey, this isn't so bad actually"
- 3/17 – "Apparently degenerate criminals feed the homeless"
- 3/16 – "Addicted to and in love with their iPhones"
- 3/15 – "That's my car!!!"
- 3/14 – "3/12/09"
- 3/12 – "Spew-sday nights"
- 3/11 – "Buddha is fat, has terrible circulation, and is bad for the economy"
- 3/10 – "It's official"
- 3/9 – "God might be trying to kill you"
- 3/8 – "NAAFCPNKAA"
- 3/6 – "Minimum for a circle jerk is 5"
- 3/5 – "Mental patients with perfect teeth"
- 3/4 – "He roofied himself"
- 3/3 – "Please don't bow to me, Mr. Chinese delivery guy"
- 3/1 – "Just like you people, I build up a tolerance."
- 2/28 – "Nothing's going around"
- 2/27 – "Wouldn't touch that with Bea Arthur's dick"
- 2/26 – "From now on, I open whatever I want in Target"
- 2/25 – "Animals, children, environment, or human rights"
- 2/24 – "I'm taking a break"
- 2/23 – "Creepers on the yellow"
- 2/22 – "Well-timed fart"
- 2/21 – "Rather be a D-Fish than a bird"
- 2/19 – "I’m fat, but educated about good health"
- 2/18 – "Buddy buddy has a negative connotation somehow"
- 2/17 – "No 3/5 compromise here, the homeless count!"
- 2/16 – "SAP button reversal"
- 2/15 – "Catering to the people via Evite"
- 2/14 – "Bowling outdoors"
- 2/12 – "I couldn't resist"
- 2/11 – "Continued to be awed by technology"
- 2/10 – "Annoying guy-pothetical questions"
- 2/9 – "My hair is still famous"
- 2/8 – "Good impression"
- 2/6 – "C'mon not now, I just showered!"
- 2/5 – "By the way our machines are down"
- 2/3 – "Colorblind roommates: worst interior decorators ever"
- 2/2 – "Super Bowl philosophy update"
- 2/1 – "Dear Conan O'Brien,"
- 1/31 – "Analysis of handwriting analysis"
- 1/29 – "T-i-t"
- 1/28 – "Grandma's dental politics"
- 1/27 – "Traffic jam on toast, please"
- 1/26 – "Spitting image"
- 1/24 – "Old people & answering machines"
- 1/23 – "Snuggie follow-up"
- 1/22 – "Semi-attractive people are more dangerous to society"
- 1/21 – "Could never live in the country"
- 1/19 – "Fly or swim"
- 1/18 – "I do my part"
- 1/17 – "When I'm not looking"
- 1/15 – "Those birds were probably terrorists"
- 1/13 – "Seems most NCAA athletic directors have tiny penises"
- 1/12 – "Okay fine, I guess I see why they hate us"
- 1/11 – "I still think Pizza Hut is evil"
- 1/10 – "People I may or may not know"
- 1/9 – "Beating the game most anticlimactic thing ever"
- 1/8 – "Apparently mom’s texting now"
- 1/7 – "It would've been nice if Israel would've emailed me"
- 1/6 – "Movie Movie"
- 1/5 – "He's Leon Washington made by the Japanese"
- 1/4 – "Jewish New Year’s Resolutions"
- 1/2 – "Business proposal for Alyssa Milano"
- 1/1 – "Not a real chipwich"
- 12/31 – "The Snuggie"
- 12/29 – "Mutts are hot, but maybe not all of 'em"
- 12/28 – "Shitty toy drive"
- 12/26 – "Toothpaste is toothpaste"
- 12/25 – "Teams like the Milwaukee Brewers are communist cry-babies"
- 12/24 – "Can't help it"
- 12/23 – "Murderers won't be at Bingo"
- 12/22 – "Manhunt = Hide & go seek"
- 12/21 – "Buffalo Bills fans are geniuses, sort of…"
- 12/20 – "Pre-pup agreement"
- 12/18 – "Don't rely on Ikea for everything"
- 12/17 – "Nobody gives a shit about Santa's health"
- 12/16 – "There no way I'm not writing about somebody throwing a shoe at our president"
- 12/15 – "Santa Claus and his ho-ho-hoes"
- 12/14 – "All the fun sucked out of unemployment"
- 12/13 – "When absurdity pwns sportsmanship"
- 12/11 – "I refuse to text Pizza Hut"
- 12/10 – "The future of ankle monitors"
- 12/8 – "Eventually, I imagine"
- 12/7 – "Whoa"
- 12/6 – "Gay and not gay by the arbitrary rules I've concocted"
- 12/5 – "Considerate parker"
- 12/4 – "Bad football fans and the kickers who make them money"
- 12/3 – "Freakshow in Obama's cabinet, please"
- 12/2 – "Addition to Carlin's soft language"
- 11/30 – "Cooking shows are not pornographic to fat people"
- 11/29 – "Serving 18 year olds alcohol: a minor problem?"
- 11/28 – "Five star one star reviews"
- 11/27 – "Befores & afters"
- 11/22 – "Cancelling our date will require a 24 hours notice"
- 11/21 – "Have they've tried this stunt yet?"
- 11/20 – "Alaska t-shirt issues"
- 11/19 – "I'll have my poke back now, please"
- 11/18 – "Props to late night hosts and their animal guests"
- 11/17 – "Consequences for slow service"
- 11/16 – "Friend Power Rankings"
- 11/15 – "Another racist joke/Obama knows Bo"
- 11/14 – "Black joke of the day"
- 11/13 – "Idea for reality/game show"
- 11/12 – "Coffee from everywhere"
- 11/11 – "Vote ignorantly for our Veterans"
- 11/10 – "Sensible rules and regulations for endzone celebrations"
- 11/9 – "Power of the buddy icon"
- 11/8 – "Interracial step sibling dating"
- 11/7 – "Guilty pleasures"
- 11/5 – "The President and his nipples"
- 11/4 – "Bozzz on sex and the voting process"
- 11/3 – "Smoking, atmosphere, and people I wish didn't exist"
- 11/2 – "Offensive costume procedures, part II"
- 11/1 – "Offensive costume procedures, part I"
- 10/31 – "That's it, I'm voting for George W. Bush again"
- 10/30 – "Per gallon"
- 10/29 – "Aww-worthy"
- 10/28 – "Baked Cheetos!"
- 10/27 – "Another Bozzz convo I just find"
- 10/26 – "Ice cream man playlist"
- 10/25 – "Always leave the movies satisfied"
- 10/23 – "Maybe he didn’t know!"
- 10/22 – "In the morning straight, that night a cocksucker"
- 10/21 – "Them Orientals are gooder at the learning"
- 10/20 – "You'd be fucked, Bambi"
- 10/19 – "I guess I’m on the SNL sucks bandwagon"
- 10/18 – "Fun in the sun"
- 10/17 – "Homeless will"
- 10/16 – "Old school gay"
- 10/15 – "The real ugliness behind Sarah Silverman’s political agenda"
- 10/14 – "I want to be a turtle"
- 10/13 – "Cindy's funny"
- 10/12 – "I've known you 2 months, so now I'll name my kid after you"
- 10/10 – "Beatings in Public(x)"
- 10/8 – "Why don't they call it that?"
- 10/7 – "How smart is my cat?"
- 10/6 – "Take this, avoid hangovers"
- 10/5 – "Not so fast"
- 10/3 – "2-ply toilet paper: highly inefficient"
- 10/2 – "Really scared of getting killed by a train"
- 10/1 – "Sure, I'll take my boots off…and smack you in the face with them"
- 9/30 – "Gaseous unborn children"
- 9/29 – "Philosophy"
- 9/28 – "Best way to make weight…"
- 9/27 – "You know who I look like…"
- 9/25 – "All photos at once"
- 9/24 – "Fuck Pizza Hut and their trickery"
- 9/23 – "Ah, I feel better"
- 9/21 – "What else is on the menu, bitch?"
- 9/20 – "Not a pedophile!"
- 9/18 – "More on quarters / retarded soda machine from heaven"
- 9/17 – "Change for the sake of change?"
- 9/15 – "Alternative fundraisers"
- 9/14 – "Robot orgy"
- 9/13 – "Right back where I started from"
- 9/12 – "Carson Daly defies logic"
- 9/11 – "The worst thing you can do is fart"
- 9/9 – "We're all addicted to Krackel"
- 9/8 – "Breaking down video with Bill Belichick"
- 9/7 – "At least it was while he was alive"
- 9/5 – "Extras and craft service for really really low budget films"
- 9/4 – "Stupid answer to a stupid question"
- 9/2 – "Compromise in the workplace"
- 9/1 – "Still don't understand the restaurant grading system"
- 8/31 – "How to impress me at Karaoke"
- 8/30 – "Quick question about the selection of Sarah Palin"
- 8/28 – "Skateboarding age limit"
- 8/27 – "All I want is a nearby Walmart so clean that I can eat off it's floors"
- 8/26 – "Tuxedo t-shirts"
- 8/25 – "Bathroom attendants"
- 8/23 – "Once you give 'em money, you can say anything"
- 8/21 – "Good season, can count the humiliations on one hand"
- 8/20 – "Judges? It's a snack"
- 8/19 – "Newsweek made me laugh"
- 8/18 – "No public restrooms"
- 8/17 – "Bad name for a party"
- 8/16 – "Who cares about swimming anyway, I guess"
- 8/14 – "Legendary cluelessness"
- 8/13 – "Let's see some poor sports(wo)manship"
- 8/12 – "BFF’s, TBF’s, and terrible logic"
- 8/11 – "Has actress Mary Steenburgen had plastic surgery?"
- 8/9 – "Why do some people want to knock me down from my high?"
- 8/8 – "Can retards — uh, the mentally challenged vote?"
- 8/7 – "I have another call coming in, hold on"
- 8/6 – "Not the place for a joke"
- 8/5 – "If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, please delete my Myspace/Facebook"
- 8/4 – "9-1-1 doesn't care about Shia LeBeouf"
- 8/3 – "If you don't buy this Butterfinger, I will surely lead a life of crime"
- 8/1 – "Nobody Beats the Wiz, well until they went out of business"
- 7/31 – "D-Wade's mom: horrible speller"
- 7/30 – "It came out wrong"
- 7/28 – "Just like crying"
- 7/27 – "Hopefully Henry Wyatt won't be so stupid and so uncultured"
- 7/26 – "Plastic bag ban – horrible idea"
- 7/24 – "The only people more bizarre than actors are acting teachers"
- 7/23 – "Remedy to elevator awkwardness"
- 7/22 – "I forgot I was a corporate sell-out"
- 7/21 – "Twist on corporal punishment"
- 7/20 – "I don't give a shit about first ladies"
- 7/19 – "Ice makes me angry"
- 7/17 – "I was wondering…"
- 7/16 – "More great progress from the human race"
- 7/15 – "I’m not worried about you"
- 7/14 – "Look at him, so human-like"
- 7/13 – "I see dead people watching dead people if they’re watching The 6th Sense”
- 7/12 – "Sick of Bangkok jokes"
- 7/11 – "Is it gay to…?"
- 7/9 – "Ideal living room"
- 7/8 – "Guitar stor-ies"
- 7/6 – "I can't wait until winter. Yeah I said it!"
- 7/5 – "Quick note on the Barney's jukebox"
- 7/4 – "Tell him/her I say hello"
- 7/3 – "Scare-cut"
- 7/2 – "Stdmatch.com"
- 7/1 – "Leave your glasses on"
- 6/30 – "Nobody really likes cotton candy"
- 6/29 – "Chasing hors d'oeuvres"
- 6/27 – "End of innocence"
- 6/25 – "Enemy confusion"
- 6/24 – "Stupid kitty, fucking up my air mattress"
- 6/22 – "Jews for Jesus"
- 6/21 – "Link rules"
- 6/20 – "I don’t get it, but then again I've never tried it"
- 6/18 – "Just let her pee in her pants like a normal kid"
- 6/17 – "Church parking"
- 6/16 – "Conversational road signs"
- 6/15 – "You never gonna get this, but I'll drink that thank you"
- 6/14 – "I still plan to sue Excalibur"
- 6/12 – "People who think they can find anything on the Internet IV"
- 6/11 – "Tough to delete selected texts"
- 6/10 – "Leftover globs"
- 6/9 – "Worst gift ever and I need it"
- 6/8 – "See, it wasn't me"
- 6/6 – "Keep speed addicts around for rides"
- 6/5 – "I guess the health teacher forgot to mention that one"
- 6/4 – "More on covers"
- 6/3 – "Add that to the iCal"
- 6/2 – "Holey earrings"
- 6/1 – "I'd like to thank the Academy and Manny Ramirez"
- 5/31 – "Guys pay $20 cover, girls are free"
- 5/30 – "Prison bus nonsense"
- 5/29 – "Star Wars for chicks"
- 5/28 – "Pennies, urinals, and Jewish stereotypes"
- 5/27 – "Please look at my food"
- 5/26 – "Fake Myspace page"
- 5/24- "Gum is a connector, not merely an adhesive"
- 5/23 – "Top 10 list of bodily sensations not including orgasm"
- 5/21 – "NBA promos disprove racist theories"
- 5/20 – "Checker Cab Company encourages DWI's"
- 5/19 – "What I wanna name my first daughter"
- 5/18 – "Myspace at work for Myspace"
- 5/17 – "Some more stuff on Mohawks"
- 5/14 – "The Lunchtruck"
- 5/13 – "Birthday freedoms"
- 5/12 – "I don't wanna be a superhero"
- 5/11 – "Start walking"
- 5/9 – "2 songs in 1"
- 5/7 – "Losers"
- 5/6 – "Only Dave runs in place"
- 5/5 – "Couch jumping"
- 5/4 – "The $2 bill"
- 5/3 – "I can't imagine what this fucking maniac was looking for"
- 5/2 – "Do we trust each other or not?"
- 5/1 – "M&M's, Nickelodeon, and a sign I'm coming of age"
- 4/30 – "Jew photographers are much smarter than country hicks and 15 year old pop stars"
- 4/29 – "Happy Day Jomo"
- 4/28 – "Snoop blogg"
- 4/27 – "Is there something about my personality that invites these incidents?"
- 4/26 – "AT&T, you won't win"
- 4/24 – "Fingernail painting"
- 4/23 – "Not white guys"
- 4/21 – "Seder perversion"
- 4/19 – "Impressed by your restraint"
- 4/18 – "Ouija Board is a piece of shit game"
- 4/17 – "I dare you to buy something other than Heinz ketchup"
- 4/15 – "Another good survey/test for some Harlem residents"
- 4/13 – "Countries without the Internet"
- 4/12 – "Facebook is probably out of control"
- 4/11 – "Bozzz doesn't understand me anymore"
- 4/10 – "I wonder if that's what happened to the elastic in my underwear"
- 4/9 – "Smell my finger and you'll be amazed — I know I am"
- 4/8 – "Some guys are pussies when it comes to ketchup"
- 4/6 – "Celebrity wife cookbooks"
- 4/5 – "New Michael Jackson theory"
- 4/4 – "Soap trick"
- 4/2 – "But how do I taste?"
- 4/1 – "Suggestions for office pranks"
- 3/31 – "Baffled by Vitamin water"
- 3/29 – "America sucks, but all the Chinese love the Tibetans"
- 3/27 – "I bet some of 'em got killed for a sandwich"
- 3/26 – "You might wanna reset the treadmill"
- 3/25 – "Can I actually donate that?"
- 3/24 – "Non-sexual rape"
- 3/23 – "I guess I shouldn't ever really complain about high school"
- 3/22 – "A sign I may have given up on humanity"
- 3/21 – "What did Jesus do on Saturday?"
- 3/20 – "Enough already with the goddam Jesus in the clouds"
- 3/18 – "Sounds like a board game to me"
- 3/17 – "Govern yourself"
- 3/16 – "Missing hikers in a small upstate NY town"
- 3/15 – "Lumberjack Iraq"
- 3/14 – "Forget McCain, Obama, or Clinton, I'm voting for Judge Judy"
- 3/13 – "Little League dynasty and the miracle game"
- 3/11 – "Save the environment in places where it's most fucked up"
- 3/10 – "Who's calling?"
- 3/8 – "Fever justification"
- 3/6 – "Shit in the dark"
- 3/5 – "American Idol producers are such pieces of shit, and they do such a good job too"
- 3/4 – "Big surprise, Moses was high"
- 3/2 – "The Nyquil challenge"
- 3/1 – "Admissions about sunglasses"
- 2/29 – "Feeling sad in the future"
- 2/26 – "I'll be in the other room if you need something"
- 2/25 – "Guilt-free attraction to Ellen Page"
- 2/24 – "Condoms in strip clubs"
- 2/23 – "So what do you think that is?"
- 2/22 – "C'mon Ralphs, just gimme a fucking milk crate"
- 2/21 – "The term Internet stalker is used way too freely"
- 2/20 – "What if there's more than one Ryan Seacrest?"
- 2/19 – "Give the beef to them"
- 2/18 – "Beef recall"
- 2/17 – "Strippers must hate Motley Crue"
- 2/16 – "Johan Santana will probably win 25 games"
- 2/15 – "Bozzz and the counting of the cocks"
- 2/14 – "Gymnasts and their periods"
- 2/12 – "Fine, I'm impressed"
- 2/11 – "He said it, not me"
- 2/10 – "People who criticized Michael Jordan for playing baseball"
- 2/9 – "Big deal, it smells like fish"
- 2/8 – "Assume she's spreading all kindsa shit"
- 2/7 – "I refuse to bury that flag"
- 2/6 – "Sound of snot"
- 2/5 – "Investigative journalism"
- 2/4 – "$49.95 on PPV"
- 2/3 – "Grilled cheese sandwiches"
- 2/1 – "Only a real schmuck watches the Super Bowl at a bar"
- 1/31 – "Avoiding gym tours"
- 1/30 – "Brett Butler's mom is Nostradamus"
- 1/29 – "Perfect spot"
- 1/28 – "Hair update"
- 1/27 – "Dead fish in a public tank"
- 1/25 – "I didn't change, sue me"
- 1/24 – "It's not you, it's the car"
- 1/23 – "Would somebody please go "Tonya Harding" on Tom Brady?"
- 1/22 – "More on salmon burgers"
- 1/21 – "Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, and the rest of Fox cheated you"
- 1/19 – "Arnica Montana: cocaine to battered and ashamed wives"
- 1/18 – "Where's my Britney Spears made for TV movie?"
- 1/17 – "I guess Mace is for chicks"
- 1/16 – "God values sneezing more than coughing"
- 1/15 – "Wow, not a bad day at all"
- 1/14 – "Hitting she-males"
- 1/13 – "We want the Patriots to win (lose)"
- 1/12 – "Washing my face in the kitchen sink"
- 1/11 – "First ever post not written by me, but probably my best"
- 1/10 – "Will Smith is a stupid shitbag"
- 1/9 – "Amy Fisher is hotter than Princess Diana, sorry"
- 1/8 – "Depressed skydiving instructor"
- 1/7 – "Why I'm a great human being"
- 1/6 – "Come on doc, you know you wanna"
- 1/5 – "I'd slit my wrists too if I owned a Roxette cassette"
- 1/3 – "Barry Bonds rookie card"
- 1/2 – "Ashley Madison has a big wet orgasm on a pile of money as your heart breaks"
- 1/1 – "Pairs of socks"
- 12/30 – "Getting grandma high"
- 12/28 – "Confessions of a fat slob"
- 12/26 – "I hope it's a catered affair"
- 12/25 – "Atheists with coupons still don't get into heaven"
- 12/24 – "Poor Dane Cook"
- 12/23 – "Please just watch the road"
- 12/21 – "Ew threshold"
- 12/20 – "Best gay joke ever"
- 12/19 – "The Simpsons test"
- 12/18 – "Black mannequins"
- 12/17 – "A little early, no?"
- 12/16 – "Selective reporting"
- 12/14 – "Ties and t-shirts"
- 12/13 – "Raw food and my feminine side"
- 12/12 – "It never gets old"
- 12/11 – "I really do feel bad about that"
- 12/10 – "For all your advertising needs, feel free to come to me Gillette"
- 12/9 – "Just like a commercial"
- 12/8 – "Roulette, stupid old wives game — perfect for me"
- 12/7 – "Date rapists are such pussies"
- 12/6 – "So you wanna be a gynecologist?"
- 12/5 – "I'm still pissed, mom"
- 12/4 – "I don't think it's gonna ever be back"
- 12/3 – "So what exactly is wrong with you?"
- 12/2 – "East coast bias"
- 12/1 – "Rabbits make terrible pets, right?"
- 11/30 – "The nothing people"
- 11/29 – "I'm not giving you shit if you lie to me"
- 11/28 – "Holocaust jokes don't really fly at Jewish singles events"
- 11/27 – "Girls have it right"
- 11/26 – "Thick skin"
- 11/25 – "Yes. We're brothers"
- 11/16 – "Sing Happy Birthday, assholes"
- 11/15 – "Either play beer-pong or lick the bottom of my shoes"
- 11/14 – "Please explain to me how the WNBA still exists"
- 11/13 – "Best way to advertise for fibersomething"
- 11/12 – "We're fucked up"
- 11/11 – "Rock n' roll Ralphs"
- 11/9 – "I chose not to become a doctor"
- 11/8 – "User names and passwords"
- 11/7 – "Open space"
- 11/6 – "Real name"
- 11/5 – "Underrated fashion foresight"
- 11/4 – "Versatile contestant"
- 11/2 – "Tammy Reid – worst mother ever"
- 11/1 – "Eat all Halloween candy"
- 10/31 – "Annual Horah injuries"
- 10/30 – "Completely made up dream interpretations"
- 10/29 – "Burping and farting females"
- 10/27 – "Would you bang a hot retard?"
- 10/25 – "By the way, Peppermint Patty probably isn't a lesbian"
- 10/24 – "Osama bin Laden DVD box set – the perfect holiday gift"
- 10/22 – "Am I being logical or paranoid?"
- 10/20 – "Idea for a Halloween costume"
- 10/19 – "I thought Ellen was the man of the relationship"
- 10/18 – "Backpacks, man-purses, and my own immaturity"
- 10/17 – "Christian anal virginity"
- 10/15 – "Fantasy Bass Fishing"
- 10/14 – "Humidity & wind chill factor"
- 10/13 – "Jerking off, then trying to shit"
- 10/11 – "New rule"
- 10/10 – "Skipping"
- 10/9 – "Airport security pretty much rapes old people"
- 10/8 – "Bluejeans philosophies"
- 10/7 – "Yelling from cars"
- 10/5 – "Amish comas"
- 10/3 – "Satan worshippers"
- 10/2 – "Drinkin’ water"
- 10/1 – "The story of Murray’s Supreme Hair Dressing Pomade"
- 9/30 – "So you had a bad day?"
- 9/27 – "And you think I’m a complaining Jew? Wow."
- 9/26 – "To the defense of The Sizzler"
- 9/25 – "Apology to people who have had sex changes"
- 9/24 – "But I only eat fish"
- 9/23 – "Fibbing treadmills"
- 9/22 – "Fuck G-d"
- 9/21 – "Ringside Liquor"
- 9/19 – "Cool new people"
- 9/18 – "You haven’t earned the right to wear that"
- 9/17 – "Misogyny and optimism"
- 9/15 – "T-shirts with words on them"
- 9/13 – "My mom’s left-wing politics nearly killed me"
- 9/12 – "Always keep hard copies of records when you make friendly bets"
- 9/11 – "Radio techniques"
- 9/10 – "Oh stop, you’re just as creepy"
- 9/9 – "Show for retards"
- 9/8 – "Shopping for shoes like it’s a Super Toy Run"
- 9/6 – "First ever blog dedication — for Tyler"
- 9/5 – "Kanye West & 50 Cent"
- 9/4 – "Life is unfair"
- 9/3 – "Grammar manifesto"
- 9/2 – "People who think they can find anything on the Internet III"
- 8/31 – "I thought you were good at numbers"
- 8/29 – "My 2nd deepest darkest fear"
- 8/28 – "Eh, we went to the moon"
- 8/27 – "Beans and pointless math"
- 8/25 – "I guess it’s genetic"
- 8/23 – "Ziploc makes $6.5 billion yearly—how much from drugs?"
- 8/22 – "Tell me if this makes any sense"
- 8/21 – "Please show that on TV"
- 8/19 – "Don’t bring your fucking baby to Sunset Junction"
- 8/17 – "3 impossible feats that guys can’t do"
- 8/16 – "Look at me being all complimentary"
- 8/14 – "Why is there no people food?"
- 8/13 – "Suggestions for Hallmark"
- 8/11 – "Environmentally conscious vagabonds"
- 8/10 – "If I went into confessional, it might sound like…"
- 8/9 – "Two awesomely terrible pick-up lines"
- 8/8 – "Stupid salad"
- 8/7 – "Better option for school shooters"
- 8/4 – "Myspace messages from people that don’t exist"
- 8/2 – "Lesbians in kilts"
- 8/1 – "Fuck Goofy, I shoulda sued"
- 7/30 – "Che Guevara"
- 7/29 – "People in their twenties that say they never want kids"
- 7/27 – "A pimple, yay?"
- 7/24 – "Check mirrors before spitting?"
- 7/23 – "ESPN is not only greedy, but also quite dumb"
- 7/19 – "Mutilation and circumcision are not the same thing"
- 7/18 – "Take a number, and shove it up your ass"
- 7/15 – "A-Date"
- 7/13 – "Jason exists, and is a psycho………no really"
- 7/11 – "Cubicle decorations"
- 7/10 – "Do not play Hangman with black people"
- 7/7 – "Obsessions, confessions, and overused phrases"
- 7/5 – "Homos in outer space"
- 7/2 – "Wednesday off is weird"
- 7/1 – "More hostility towards cigarette smokers"
- 6/29 – "See, recycling can be disgusting"
- 6/28 – "You are not a pornstar"
- 6/27 – "I can hear your music through your headphones"
- 6/25 – "Summer Solstice, truly the longest day of the year"
- 6/18 – "5 random underrated sitcom characters"
- 6/17 – "LA Parks Department is sexist"
- 6/15 – "I know nothing about technology, but am awaiting…"
- 6/13 – "The hypocrisy of alcohol and sports"
- 6/12 – "Dead people aren't always attractive"
- 6/11 – "Cheetos should come with latex gloves included"
- 6/9 – "The pen is no longer mightier than the sword, it is the sword"
- 6/8 – "It's okay to steal tips when…"
- 6/7 – "I plan to kill a biker"
- 6/6 – "Human-man: a real hero"
- 6/3 – "People who buy DVD's just to fill up their rack"
- 6/1 – "Michael Vick sucks at life"
- 5/29 – "Dirty wordy gurdy answers"
- 5/26 – "First ever interactive blog, dirty wordy gurdy"
- 5/25 – "The best thing about joining a band or owning a horse"
- 5/22 – "People in my building that walk by me with their heads down"
- 5/21 – "Anybody who texts a vote for anything ever"
- 5/15 – "Interleague play"
- 5/14 – "Dreamgirls couldn't figure itself out"
- 5/10 – "Why Pinocchio was a traumatic experience"
- 5/8 – "The Secret"
- 5/6 – "Hair gel and usage of the letter x"
- 5/4 – "Things Paris Hilton will say while spending time in prison"
- 5/1 – "I live an extreme lifestyle"
- 4/30 – "Sheryl Crow knows nothing about my asshole"
- 4/28 – "I think I might need to lose some weight because…"
- 4/26 – "Booger Eaters"
- 4/25 – "Bread butts/end pieces"
- 4/24 – "You're some basketball player"
- 4/23 – "He committed paraphernalia and they threw him in prison"
- 4/22 – "Question about genetics"
- 4/20 – "Arguments against the courtesy flush"
- 4/19 – "Russian hockey players are dumb"
- 4/18 – "Horses getting high in the parking lot"
- 4/17 – "I already checked"
- 4/15 – "How horny is Rachel Robinson?"
- 4/14 – "Tattoos on hot chixes"
- 4/13 – "Volleyball is for maniacs and murderers"
- 4/12 – "Don Imus and Anna Nicole Smith's baby!"
- 4/10 – "Blogfunk"
- 4/7 – "Front door, back door"
- 4/5 – "Sad News"
- 4/3 – "Best way to drive drunk"
- 4/2 – "Get your plastic surgery done over the weekend"
- 3/30 – "Frogs and toads wrestle"
- 3/29 – "Is it confusing when Snoop Dogg needs a chisel?"
- 3/28 – "FM Oldies stations that cut extended solos from songs"
- 3/27 – "I can't wait for conservatives to…"
- 3/26 – "Bozzz breaking promises"
- 3/24 – "How do color blind people eat jellybeans?"
- 3/23 – "Perhaps it might be time to change my ways"
- 3/21 – "Some things Sanjaya can do"
- 3/20 – "Gas vs. Cigarettes"
- 3/18 – "Hungry Hungry Hippos is propaganda"
- 3/16 – "Even Jesus couldn't help me with my bracket"
- 3/14 – "Wave at cars with tinted windows"
- 3/13 – "Advice for terrorists"
- 3/12 – "Is it easier to…?"
- 3/10 – "Bowling is for everyone"
- 3/9 – "What can be cute?"
- 3/6 – "Get rid of helmets in hockey"
- 3/5 – "Lack of jukebox foresight"
- 3/3 – "Lesbian animals"
- 3/2 – "Advertising for The Forward"
- 2/28 – "Tim Hardaway's grammar"
- 2/27 – "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye"
- 2/26 – "It's just a rumor, just a rumor"
- 2/24 – "Ice Breakers Sours"
- 2/23 – "Paula Abdul-Jabbar"
- 2/22 – "Is it really that exciting to drive alongside of somebody you know?"
- 2/21 – "Wanting to write a blog, but not having one to write"
- 2/19 – "The real father of Bridget Moynahan's baby"
- 2/15 – "PeOpLe ThAt TyPe LiKe ThIs"
- 2/13 – "People who think they can find anything on the Internet II"
- 2/12 – "Jesus Takes the Wheel! (and avoids traffic)"
- 2/11 – "Karma, football predictions, free drinks, and Justin Timberlake"
- 2/9 – "How long I gotta wait til I can use Anna Nicole Smith for material?"
- 2/8 – "Richard Simmons"
- 2/7 – "Soccer Riots"
- 2/5 – "I am not a racist, but…"
- 2/4 – "Fuck (F-u-c-k T-o-p 8)…for now"
- 2/2 – "Who's worse, Chris Daughtry or Adolf Hitler?"
- 2/1 – "Fuck you, I'm a cat"
- 1/29 – "Wolfgang Van Halen"
- 1/28 – "Considerations for banning transfat"
- 1/24 – "Things that will occur before Chinese Democracy is released"
- 1/23 – "What I expect from my future wife"
- 1/22 – ""Words that are pronounced in more than one way"
- 1/19 – "Homeless beggars that set up camp in stupid spots that make no sense"
- 1/17 – "Faith in humankind reaffirmed in the supermarket"
- 1/16 – "Simon Cowell"
- 1/14 – "My deepest darkest fear"
- 1/12 – "Working on Martin Luther King Day"
- 1/11 – "Private profiles"
- 1/10 – "Betty White's invincibility"
- 1/9 – "Stench in NYC"
- 1/7 – "Tribute to James Brown – the blackest man of all time"
- 1/5 – "Vaginal Rejuvenation Tour 2007?"
- 1/2 – "Grandpa's teeth"
- 12/21 – "Home Depot commercial jingle"
- 12/20 – "People who don't think this is the funniest story ever"
- 12/18 – "These prick-bastards who wear O.J. Simpson USC jerseys"
- 12/17 – "Parents putting videos of their infants playing harmonica on Youtube"
- 12/15 – "Trey Anastasio"
- 12/14 – "The new east coast/west coast war"
- 12/13 – "Don Carmen"
- 12/12 – "Insecurity of Americans to accept the usefulness of a bidet"
- 12/11 – "Invisible creatures that take our shit when we ain't lookin"
- 12/9 – "Wikipedia's excludng of spinoff names for Baba Booey"
- 12/8 – "Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 89 most redundant, repetitive cliches in music"
- 12/7 – "You artsy liberal hip Mac users"
- 12/6 – "Pedestrian rebelliousness in the presence of the elderly and handicapped"
- 12/5 – "Going to the gym, sitting in the parking lot for 45 minutes, then leaving"
- 12/4 – "The NY sports media"
- 12/3 – "My cat's disdain for paper towels"
- 12/2 – "Leaders from different countries speaking at podiums on top steps of historical sites"
- 12/1 – "White socks"
- 11/30 – "Accidental viewings of she-male porn from misleading thumbnails"
- 11/29 – "Proposed name change for Baba Booey"
- 11/28 – "Those not recognizing the true hero of the Michael Richards racist rant"
- 11/26 – "Long white t-shirt wearin' mofos"
- 11/24 – "Ray Charles"
- 11/22 – "AT&T"
- 11/21 – "My relationship with waiters/waitresses"
- 11/20 – "People who have had sex change operations"
- 11/17 – "People who think they can find anything on the Internet"
- 11/16 – "Serena Williams"
- 11/15 – "People who think the War in Iraq is a conundrum"
- 11/13 – "Sir Mix-A-Lot"
- 11/10 – "Mayonnaise"
- 11/7 – "Oprah's studio audience"
- 11/6 – "People who think I'm ambidextrous"
- 10/30 – "Critics of the Ultimate Warrior"
- 10/24 – "People that say the book is always better than the movie"
- 10/20 – "Myself"
- 10/13 – "Scientology"
- 10/6 – "Twins Catcher Joe Mauer"
- 9/18 – "Super Mario Bros. 2"
- 9/13 – "People that root for teams outside their geographical region"
- 9/10 – "CW11"
- 9/7 – "On Notice – Comment Deleters, Wikipedia fraud, the Paparazzi"
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