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Complete Archive

2013

“Linda Richman Federal Reserve Meme”

2012

Barack Obama & Mitt Romney Debate Rehearsal
Gymnastics requires the most toughness
Paterno’s family should probably just lay low
Protesting Chick-fil-A’s discrimination of gays
Jewish American Guy Rhymes about the NDAA and the Two-Party System
Where’s My Crosswalk? — the latest
“Actors changing their names to their roles”
“Some thoughts on Words with Friends”
“Stop it, people don’t die in threes”
Jewish American Guy Rhymes about Israel and Ron Paul
“He was bla–, I mean African-American”
“So, when do I text this girl?”
“Cool people discover cool stuff before you”
“Thoughts on Robert Shapiro and LegalZoom”
Jewish American Guy Rhymes about the Federal Reserve and Ron Paul
“Godammit I said godammit again”
Fox 11 in Los Angeles follows up about ‘Crosswalk
“Where’s My Crosswalk?”
“Did Mr. Hewlett say funk you to a student?”
…my recent videos
“Adam’s Fashion Rescue”
“My only real home run ever, not including softball in HS gym class”

2011

"Snail mail shenanigans"
"Crazy Jewish mother thing, or just crazy person thing?"
"MaxTall shoe inserts for guys, not so much a fan"
"What not to say to a date you met online"
"Amazed by dog sex"
"You need to get out more"
"I'd take away some Hollywood stars on that Walk of Fame"
"How Obama would handle another Katrina"
Be sure to vote for this blog!
"Celebrating birthdays of Princess Diana and other dead people"
"Best wedding ever, at least for the guests"
"You probably shouldn't post this on Facebook II"
"You probably shouldn't post this on Facebook"
"Police lineups for blind people"
"I'd rather not watch II"
"There's competive eating, why not competitive burping?"
"Why the f*ck do people censor themselves for no reason?"
"Asking homeless people for favors"
“Why is Rick Perry asking people to fast?”
"Why Puff Daddy is awesome"
"I'd rather not watch"
"That song is sooooo old"
"Goodbyes at parties and large functions"
"Can I borrow a piece of paper?"
"Rooting for USA"
"Another reason for the rest of the world to hate America"
"Summerwear for gang members"
"Words with Friends addiction, I guess"
"Going to the movies alone"
"Women's and men's shaving creams/gels, same stuff"
"Pointless alarms that go off that nobody cares about"
"Is it wrong to pet a stranger's dog without asking for permission?
"Reacting to Osama Bin Laden reactions"
"Making pool more fair for people who suck at it"
"Oh I'd never date a coworker = lie"
"Am I homophobic because I don't want a massage from a guy?"
"I don't give a shit about The Royal Wedding"
"What's taking him/her so long to text back!?"
"Here, smell this milk for me"
"When is it okay for a man to cry?"
"Military flyovers are a waste of time and money"
"Repulsed and disappointed by poop"
"Capital letters, exclamation points, & capitals with exclamation points"
"It's true I have a middle initial but no middle name"
"Baby naming when it comes to Jews and gentiles"
"Choosing doctors vs. choosing dentists"
"Having fun with the memo section on checks"
"Hashtags and learning about Twitter"
"Bottled water brand loyalty"
"Car horns in radio ads sometimes scare me while I'm driving"
"Searched terms that got people here II"
"Zdeno Chara is innocent"
"Even though they are nuts, I'll defend BYU a bit"
"Doesn't identify as male or female"
"I like Wendy's burgers more than McDonald's, Burger King, and In-N-Out"
"How's your life?"
"What's with these Mao posters?"
"Weather affects the delivery guy's tip"
"The worst Family Feud question ever"
"I don't think I'm ever going to like Opera music"
"Lay off picky eaters"
"In & Out Burger, must you be so open with me about everything?"
"What about mom's approval?"
"How to avoid paying baggage fees on your flight"
"Birds pooping on you is good luck?
"Who said you're allowed to take my picture?"
"Hermaphrodites dating each other"
"Be careful what you leave in the office printer"
"Sugarcoating in moderation"
"I would call the cops on ghosts"
"Buh-bye & bye-bye"
"Arguing neighbors: be loud enough for us to hear, or shut up"
"Those guys with arrow-shaped signs"
"Gum vs. Mints, biggest battle since Red Vines vs. Twizzlers"
"Dating amputees"
"How to talk and eat at the same time"
"Problem with board games in the 21st century"
"Silly MLK Day convo"
"Clean up after pets – oh yeah? which ones?"
"The Costco free sample infomercial-robot people"
"Poor October 11th"

2010

"Skype stuff"
"I DON'T want to live life to the fullest"
"Plungers and gender politics"
"Presents given in bags are not real presents"
"Merry Christmas says the person at the store"
"Rules for saying Happy New Year"
"Little moments on the road"
"Bob Smith has checked in at…."
"I think we often forget…"
"Tilt the floor"
"Sacrificing your body for the economy"
"Good graffiti"
"Affliction. Affection. Affiction?"
"Chicks like yogurt, and so do a lot of people"
"You better love yourself"
"More stuff on hypenated names"
"Unused comeback to a cripple"
"Cannibalism, maybe not so bad"
"Boxed salads"
"John Elway: Maybe not as dumb as we all thought!"
"The right NOT to vote"
"Shit, I just realized I don't know how to play piano, either"
"Shit, I just realized I don't know karate"
"No excuse for not applauding"
"Cell phones on stage"
"Adam's Fashion Rescue"
"My Fashion Rescue video…coming very soon"
"Rooting for criminals"
"The War on Fat"
"Great skills jobs could care less about"
"Remember, sometimes it's ok to not like your parents"
"Seatbelt laws"
"Sponsors sponsoring sponsors"
"Random stuff still in my phone V"
"People who think horror films are funny"
"Windex and bugs"
"So when should I wash my jeans?"
"Unknown number, yay"
"Less offensive in your native language"
"Random stuff still in my phone IV"
"Random stuff still in my phone III"
"Random stuff still in my phone II"
"Random stuff still in my phone"
"Strategy for dealing with drunk drama"
"I think I'm sorry I missed your party"
"4-1-1 to get 9-1-1"
"A couple more thoughts on the Ground Zero mosque"
"YouTube parties/bars"
"Getting the most out of your Soy Vay"
"Searched terms that got people here"
"Sucked Out"
"Premature mastication, and some rather pointless analysis of it"
"Rules for shirtless dudes on Facebook"
"Saying hi to blind strangers"
"To the defense of athletes who thank Jesus"
"Is it wrong to dress as two different groups of people?"
"Major League Baseball = model for abortion policies?"
"B.B. King: fat, old, and awesome"
"FYI, some stuff about FYI"
"Not married, so what are you?
"Gentile mezuzah"
"Facial hair rebellion"
"To die for"
"Mosque on ground zero"
"What people like me would do in prison"
"Gays on Kiss Cam"
"Dude wearing the LeBron James Heat jersey in Cleveland, whata dummy"
"Can atheists be superstitious?"
"Coincidence, or something to do with me?"
"Stadium-style seating"
"Stickers and tags on hats, stop that"
"People who burn albums deserve to be burned themselves"
"Music probably didn't save your life"
"Where to?"
"Septembuary"
"Some theories on the whereabouts of female pilots"
"Pat on the butt, really?"
"Rules for stopping for car accidents"
"Too much? / Too soon?"
"I guess beggars can be choosers"
"Phillies manager = worst human being ever"
"Free money, but not charity"
"Scarier than losing my keys down the garbage chute"
"Ice cream man!……….not"
"Luckily there are plenty others to make fun of"
"Some thoughts on fighting in hockey"
"Not every short man has a Napoleon complex dammit"
"USA should win the World Cup, and let the world shit a brick"
"I quit quitting!"
"What would piss you off more?"
"Uh, I'm pretty sure that's a fake I.D."
"Ted Williams = financial genius"
"Rule for free sample seconds"
"Too many burgers, not enough buns!"
"Couples wearing opposing jerseys at games"
"Yo where these shoelaces at?"
"Cats and babies on YouTube"
"Restaurant train with host as conductor"
"What did technology ever do to you?"
"What did your parents eat the night you were conceived?"
"The new school way to shop (at Target)"
"One more thing that scares me about America"
"Stop hosing down your driveway, you fucking asshole"
"Underwater sports fans?"
"Sleep-productive"
"3 random quickies – Pepto Bismol, window shopping, & O.P.P."
"There's no way in hell the devil exists"
"Paper towels kick the ass of paper napkins"
"Eventually we'll be worshipping Darwin"
"Fold those plates in half I say"
"My friend scale"
"To wash first or wear right away, that is the question"
"Outside food policies"
"Housekeeping you want me jerk you off?"
"I hope that's not symbolic of your married life"
"For one thing, these changes to Facebook make me look like a gay criminal"
"Defending Trey Parker & Matt Stone"
"The Mascot, starring Mickey Rourke"
"Evil thoughts"
"Please don't repeat this"
4/28 – "Rename the streets"
4/26 – "I don't like this honey, honey"
4/24 – "Solo footjobs"
4/21 – "Intercom fun at Jeremy's"
4/20 – "Jason Taylor needs to be hazed"
4/18 – "Clapping as a gesture, without sound"
4/16 – "Home Depot – a murderer's warehouse?"
4/14 – "A way to free education"
4/13 – "I say Obama should smoke during his speeches"
4/11 – "Expiration date"
4/9 – "No Martini field"
4/7 – "So where do all these slackers in California live?"
4/5 – "CC-ing people on texts"
4/4 – "Not all of the 10 Plagues are so bad"
4/2 – "Karotty"
4/1 – "Oh I thought you were referring to those other nipples"
3/31 – "Pole dancing in the Olympics"
3/29 – "Family size"
3/28 – "Is everyone nuts?"
3/25 – "Chicken pecs"
3/24 – "Mad at me? Just say hi and bye"
3/23 – "Music system at work"
3/22 – "Grandmas and their bizarre lingo"
3/21 – "Still impressed by solar powered calculators"
3/19 – "E-vitations and football injuries"
3/18 – "Rules for Abbey Road"
3/16 – "Maybe our country is going down the shitter after all"
3/14 – "Homosexual couples can wait on having kids"
3/13 – "Fat vegetarians"
3/11 – "Sports sex metaphors in other countries"
3/10 – "I agree with Chappelle about Pepe Le Pew"
3/9 – "Normal Bozzzy texting"
3/8 – "I'm a community activist now"
3/7 – "Shirtless bartenders"
3/5 – "Is that your swagger, or are you injured?"
3/4 – "Wouldn't it be awesome if…"
3/2 – "When I grow up, I want to be a sideline reporter"
3/1 – "Tic Tacs and Kit Kats"
2/27 – "That'd be too comfortable"
2/25 – "Don't buy Bailey's Irish Cream"
2/24 – "If no risk of casualties, where I'd like to be during an earthquake"
2/22 – "There's no excuse for seats with obstructed views"
2/21 – "Woman with cat in traffic"
2/20 – "I'm gonna be bad"
2/18 – "Quick silly one"
2/17 – "Home Alone sends weird messages to kids"
2/16 – "White sneakers prove mom wrong"
2/15 – "Letter shaped groins and such"
2/13 – "Grandaddy issues"
2/12 – "More ignorance in L.A. when it comes to Italian food"
2/10 – "Defending the bridge (bitchstick)"
2/9 – "An easy way to mess with people"
2/8 – "Oooooh, you law breaker"
2/6 – "Maybe you're better when you ACTUALLY place the bet!"
2/4 – "How to improve Groundhog Day"
2/3 – "Experience scary, funny, and sad all within 30 seconds"
2/2 – "Maximum heights for feistiness"
2/1 – "You have to earn those upper-case letters"
1/30 – "Defending celebrity Lakers fans"
1/28 – "Another example of why cats are so smart"
1/27 – "Rain and timing"
1/25 – "Quirky people, smooth people"
1/24 – " Missed call"
1/22 – " It’s okay, pay whatever you want"
1/21 – "Soon it'll be only sporks"
1/20 – "Criticism (and support) of marathon runners"
1/19 – "Avatar 2: Avatard"
1/18 – "A moment at the gas station"
1/17 – "Football hijinks"
1/14 – "Cute girls don't drive vans"
1/13 – "Why no 24 hour Chinese food?"
1/12 – "Smog pizza"
1/10 – "Text or call?"
1/8 – "Gay boobs"
1/7 – "Don't worry, I will tell you how much weed I want"
1/6 – "What stops me from breaking parking meters?"
1/5 – "Epsom salt — does it all?"
1/4 – "No PJ's at work"
1/2 – "Phone number switcher backers"
1/1 – "Please walk on the escalators"

2009

12/30 – "Hard to shop for"
12/28 – "What do sheep herders count before they go to sleep?"
12/27 – "Remember Winamp?"
12/24 – "Trains in Los Angeles"
12/22 – "Lefty air guitar"
12/21 – "Rubbernecking has it's time and place"
12/20 – "I don't believe in seasonal colors"
12/17 – "Grandpa Sammy's eulogy"
12/16 – "Tiger Woods — what’s so shocking about all this?"
12/15 – "I like gum, sometimes a lot"
12/14 – "A snowman is atheist"
12/12 – "Rare booger event"
12/10 – Grape Blow Pops — actually good"
12/9 – "My style in a nutshell"
12/8 – "Eggnog sucks"
12/7 – "Vibrators, dildos, blow-up dolls, Fleshlights, and society"
12/6 – "That should be your status"
12/5 – "It's okay, you can use my bathroom"
12/3 – "Being one's own worst enemy is not so bad"
12/2 – "Apparently my co-workers like me"
12/1 – "Was Hitler ticklish?"
11/30 – "Force your kid to play music"
11/27 – "Rather be a VIP than a very important person"
11/19 – "One man’s filler is another man’s treasure"
11/18 – "Don't ask me if your girlfriend is hot"
11/17 – "I don’t have much sympathy for people attacked by animals"
11/16 – "I found another Jew for you"
11/14 – "I hate the insert key"
11/12 – "Philosophy on killing bugs"
11/11 – "You look tired…gee thanks"
11/9 – "Alicia Keys is in denial of her black heritage"
11/8 – "More kissing in porn"
11/6 – "For couples, TV is more important than religion"
11/5 – "Shit, I'm turning into my dad"
11/4 – "Kudos to Dan Aykroyd"
11/3 – "Me and my pajama pants"
11/2 – "Soul mates"
11/1 – "No wonder Detroit is bankrupt"
10/30 – "Cell phone pocket positioning"
10/29 – "Hydrox the dog"
10/27 – "Fashion-forward"
10/26 – "Wear a Halloween costume, thanks"
10/25 – "Strange microwave times"
10/24 – "Rearranging keyboard keys is a good prank"
10/22 – "Handshaking girls"
10/20 – "De-dustifier"
10/19 – "Heavenfood"
10/18 – "Naked, but with belt with cupholders"
10/16 – "Adolescent girls and soy sauce"
10/15 – "Good channel flippers"
10/13 – "Fuck SOME cops"
10/11 – "Kid Hunters"
10/9 – "The Charlie Murphy of cooking"
10/7 – "Halloween-themed parks scare me"
10/5 – "Something's gotta be done about straight line cleavage"
10/3 – "Tattoo misspellings"
10/2 – "When I poop I think of you, but in a good way"
10/1 – "Back off, I have a lawyer"
9/26 – "What if Chad Ochocinco gets traded?"
9/23 – "Perhaps some regrets about Spanish"
9/22 – "Some sympathy for rabbits"
9/21 – "Record keeping in the post-nuclear world"
9/20 – "The more I sobered up, the hotter you got"
9/19 – "I'm good with names"
9/16 – "Changing religions is not as weird"
9/15 – "Changing political parties is weird"
9/13 – "I'm clean, but be careful with the white underwear"
9/12 – "Peeling labels is classy and romantic"
9/9 – "I should probably be writing porn"
9/7 – "Jets fans are nomads…too"
9/6 – "Baffled by mustache people"
9/5 – "Quickest orphan of all time"
9/4 – "Amputees are most sexually generous?
9/2 – "Some stuff on last names and marriage"
8/31 – "Um, Mike Tyson still sucks"
8/30 – "That's what you've been up to?"
8/28 – "Women on their periods in Britain"
8/27 – "Discovery Zone for adults"
8/25 – "Lyrics without music"
8/23 – "What makes a good ringtone"
8/22 – "Phillies fans are nice assholes"
8/19 – "The existence of god versus love"
8/18 – "The best kind of murderers"
8/17 – "Posting injury pics"
8/15 – "Free advertising on t-shirts"
8/13 – "Wolfenstein – trivializes the Holocaust?"
8/12 – "Don’t touch my hair"
8/11 – "White people like NCAA more than NBA basketball"
8/10 – "White people Madea viewing party"
8/8 – "Yankee Stadium's name isn't what you think"
8/6 – "Online dating and the pain it forward"
8/5 – "Sleeping Alone t-shirt"
8/4 – "Less angry at drivers of fancy cars"
8/3 – "Self-hating species"
7/30 – Most retarded commercial ever"
7/28 – "People food follow-up: Centrum Multivitamins & baby food"
7/27 – "Vikings should sign Michael Vick instead of Brett Favre"
7/25 – "Imitation is NOT NECESSARILY the highest form of flattery"
7/23 – "Walter Cronkite Memorial Chicken Dinner"
7/21 – "Send in someone else"
7/20 – "You don't notice when things don't happen"
7/19 – "Hotels with clean rooms"
7/17 – "Funny George IM exchange"
7/16 – "Not The Staples Center"
7/14 – "The liberal media & Obama's first pitch conspiracy"
7/13 – "Solution to flimsy baby necks"
7/12 – "Gandhi, kids, and school"
7/11 – "Restaurant hat etiquette"
7/9 – "Michael Jackson shoulda recorded Thriller around 2001"
7/8 – "Endy Chavez defies science"
7/7 – "People who look insane, but might not be insane"
7/6 – "Ghosts of our forefathers in Whole Foods"
7/4 – "Fireworks on TV, lol"
7/3 – "You're not my father!"
7/2 – "National Examiner too irresponsible for even a rag"
6/30 – "Rx on TV"
6/28 – “Free medical advice from the CVS pharmacist"
6/27 – "What'd you do with my mountains?"
6/25 – "One more Iran disclaimer"
6/24 – "Iraq, Iran, more sadness"
6/23 – "Maybe I’ll start carrying a motorcycle helmet around"
6/22 – "A couple of irritants in spoken language"
6/21 – "How you know it's a pretty good fart…"
6/20 – "Um, none of us have dial-up"
6/18 – “John Smith does not like this”
6/17 – "Turning Lakers riots into something positive"
6/16 – "One more thing on Palin/Letterman"
6/15 – "People who say they hate religion"
6/14 – "Employees must wash hands"
6/13 – "How I can recognize a spam comment"
6/11 – "Kelley and her crazy baseball stats"
6/10 – "Pretty much a pre-mixed Vodka-Red Bull"
6/9 – "Mom joke of the day"
6/8 – "March Madness conspiracy 3 months later"
6/7 – "Donald Trump is just absurd"
6/6 – "Chopper nearby"
6/4 – "United States of Australia"
6/3 – "Some thoughts on winking"
6/2 – "Just porn alone isn't good enough for me anymore"
6/1 – "Breathalyzers should really come with all cars"
5/31 – "Fuck that, Ryan Phillipe should be photographing me"
5/29 – "I try to do Windows update but it goes to Google English instead"
5/27 – "Too lazy to turn around, so just send it to me"
5/26 – "Name for a big clit"
5/25 – "Get rid of helmets II: This Time in Roller Derby"
5/23 – "The devil returns every 25 years"
5/22 – "Let's pause for a moment of room tone"
5/21 – "What happens if the entire Denver Nuggets team gets arrested?"
5/20 – "Beer cans that let you know when they are cold"
5/19 – "When instant messaging lyrics to Bozzz turns dirty"
5/18 – "Facebook funeral photos"
5/17 – "You look more Jewwy in that color"
5/16 – "But I wanted to yell at Manny"
5/15 – "Do your own dental work"
5/13 – "Carlos Beltran is Moletran"
5/11 – "Check for 26 cents"
5/10 – "Oh, this dog/cat musta’ been abused when he was younger"
5/8 – "Fast food dates"
5/6 – “Unconditional Facebook love for Obama”
5/5 – "Ways to greatly improve glory holes"
5/4 – "Is the Dirty Sanchez is out of style?"
5/3 – "Kitty applying to be my accountant?"
5/2 – "Pimp my wheelchair"
4/30 – "Don’t you feel like crying?"
4/28 – "Fast food chefs"
4/27 – "Michael Vick is a better person than Barry Bonds, really America?"
4/26 – "Jennie-O Turkey Burgers"
4/25 – "Too lazy to download music illegally"
4/23 – "Carrie Jensen should be one of Obama’s economic advisors"
4/22 – "Slow and painful death for Myspace"
4/21 – "I guess I'm not that afraid of a nuclear bomb"
4/19 – "What is the proper way to eat French fries?"
4/18 – "DeFrankos somehow landed in Van Nuys, California"
4/17 – "Rules for choosing your second favorite team"
4/16 – "Celebrities should stop adopting kids from foreign countries"
4/14 – "Don't judge a movie by it's premise"
4/13 – "Mos Def sounds like/is an idiot"
4/12 – "Idea for Facebook – What kind of poop are you?"
4/11 – "I want to go back on a meal plan"
4/10 – "Kittens, dating, and IM-ing people who aren't there"
4/9 – "Grandma and her ridiculous jokes"
4/8 – "Question about Billy Joel’s Keeping the Faith"
4/7 – "I hate it when the cat makes me feel guilty"
4/6 – "People with name tags"
4/5 – "Slumdog Millionaire should've starred Regis Phibin"
4/2 – "Reflections in the toilet"
4/1 – "Help me I'm blind"
3/31 – "Idea for skit/game"
3/30 – "Upside down money"
3/28 – "People who buy tuna in vegetable oil"
3/26 – "My debut greatest hits concept album"
3/25 – "Wtf was I trying to say?"
3/24 – "I hate self-proclaimed street smart white people"
3/23 – "Spinoffs with the animals"
3/22 – "Networking"
3/21 – "Instead of going on a weekend trip, let's get sex changes"
3/19 – "I want video games to be MORE violent"
3/18 – "Hey, this isn't so bad actually"
3/17 – "Apparently degenerate criminals feed the homeless"
3/16 – "Addicted to and in love with their iPhones"
3/15 – "That's my car!!!"
3/14 – "3/12/09"
3/12 – "Spew-sday nights"
3/11 – "Buddha is fat, has terrible circulation, and is bad for the economy"
3/10 – "It's official"
3/9 – "God might be trying to kill you"
3/8 – "NAAFCPNKAA"
3/6 – "Minimum for a circle jerk is 5"
3/5 – "Mental patients with perfect teeth"
3/4 – "He roofied himself"
3/3 – "Please don't bow to me, Mr. Chinese delivery guy"
3/1 – "Just like you people, I build up a tolerance."
2/28 – "Nothing's going around"
2/27 – "Wouldn't touch that with Bea Arthur's dick"
2/26 – "From now on, I open whatever I want in Target"
2/25 – "Animals, children, environment, or human rights"
2/24 – "I'm taking a break"
2/23 – "Creepers on the yellow"
2/22 – "Well-timed fart"
2/21 – "Rather be a D-Fish than a bird"
2/19 – "I’m fat, but educated about good health"
2/18 – "Buddy buddy has a negative connotation somehow"
2/17 – "No 3/5 compromise here, the homeless count!"
2/16 – "SAP button reversal"
2/15 – "Catering to the people via Evite"
2/14 – "Bowling outdoors"
2/12 – "I couldn't resist"
2/11 – "Continued to be awed by technology"
2/10 – "Annoying guy-pothetical questions"
2/9 – "My hair is still famous"
2/8 – "Good impression"
2/6 – "C'mon not now, I just showered!"
2/5 – "By the way our machines are down"
2/3 – "Colorblind roommates: worst interior decorators ever"
2/2 – "Super Bowl philosophy update"
2/1 – "Dear Conan O'Brien,"
1/31 – "Analysis of handwriting analysis"
1/29 – "T-i-t"
1/28 – "Grandma's dental politics"
1/27 – "Traffic jam on toast, please"
1/26 – "Spitting image"
1/24 – "Old people & answering machines"
1/23 – "Snuggie follow-up"
1/22 – "Semi-attractive people are more dangerous to society"
1/21 – "Could never live in the country"
1/19 – "Fly or swim"
1/18 – "I do my part"
1/17 – "When I'm not looking"
1/15 – "Those birds were probably terrorists"
1/13 – "Seems most NCAA athletic directors have tiny penises"
1/12 – "Okay fine, I guess I see why they hate us"
1/11 – "I still think Pizza Hut is evil"
1/10 – "People I may or may not know"
1/9 – "Beating the game most anticlimactic thing ever"
1/8 – "Apparently mom’s texting now"
1/7 – "It would've been nice if Israel would've emailed me"
1/6 – "Movie Movie"
1/5 – "He's Leon Washington made by the Japanese"
1/4 – "Jewish New Year’s Resolutions"
1/2 – "Business proposal for Alyssa Milano"
1/1 – "Not a real chipwich"

2008

12/31 – "The Snuggie"
12/29 – "Mutts are hot, but maybe not all of 'em"
12/28 – "Shitty toy drive"
12/26 – "Toothpaste is toothpaste"
12/25 – "Teams like the Milwaukee Brewers are communist cry-babies"
12/24 – "Can't help it"
12/23 – "Murderers won't be at Bingo"
12/22 – "Manhunt = Hide & go seek"
12/21 – "Buffalo Bills fans are geniuses, sort of…"
12/20 – "Pre-pup agreement"
12/18 – "Don't rely on Ikea for everything"
12/17 – "Nobody gives a shit about Santa's health"
12/16 – "There no way I'm not writing about somebody throwing a shoe at our president"
12/15 – "Santa Claus and his ho-ho-hoes"
12/14 – "All the fun sucked out of unemployment"
12/13 – "When absurdity pwns sportsmanship"
12/11 – "I refuse to text Pizza Hut"
12/10 – "The future of ankle monitors"
12/8 – "Eventually, I imagine"
12/7 – "Whoa"
12/6 – "Gay and not gay by the arbitrary rules I've concocted"
12/5 – "Considerate parker"
12/4 – "Bad football fans and the kickers who make them money"
12/3 – "Freakshow in Obama's cabinet, please"
12/2 – "Addition to Carlin's soft language"
11/30 – "Cooking shows are not pornographic to fat people"
11/29 – "Serving 18 year olds alcohol: a minor problem?"
11/28 – "Five star one star reviews"
11/27 – "Befores & afters"
11/22 – "Cancelling our date will require a 24 hours notice"
11/21 – "Have they've tried this stunt yet?"
11/20 – "Alaska t-shirt issues"
11/19 – "I'll have my poke back now, please"
11/18 – "Props to late night hosts and their animal guests"
11/17 – "Consequences for slow service"
11/16 – "Friend Power Rankings"
11/15 – "Another racist joke/Obama knows Bo"
11/14 – "Black joke of the day"
11/13 – "Idea for reality/game show"
11/12 – "Coffee from everywhere"
11/11 – "Vote ignorantly for our Veterans"
11/10 – "Sensible rules and regulations for endzone celebrations"
11/9 – "Power of the buddy icon"
11/8 – "Interracial step sibling dating"
11/7 – "Guilty pleasures"
11/5 – "The President and his nipples"
11/4 – "Bozzz on sex and the voting process"
11/3 – "Smoking, atmosphere, and people I wish didn't exist"
11/2 – "Offensive costume procedures, part II"
11/1 – "Offensive costume procedures, part I"
10/31 – "That's it, I'm voting for George W. Bush again"
10/30 – "Per gallon"
10/29 – "Aww-worthy"
10/28 – "Baked Cheetos!"
10/27 – "Another Bozzz convo I just find"
10/26 – "Ice cream man playlist"
10/25 – "Always leave the movies satisfied"
10/23 – "Maybe he didn’t know!"
10/22 – "In the morning straight, that night a cocksucker"
10/21 – "Them Orientals are gooder at the learning"
10/20 – "You'd be fucked, Bambi"
10/19 – "I guess I’m on the SNL sucks bandwagon"
10/18 – "Fun in the sun"
10/17 – "Homeless will"
10/16 – "Old school gay"
10/15 – "The real ugliness behind Sarah Silverman’s political agenda"
10/14 – "I want to be a turtle"
10/13 – "Cindy's funny"
10/12 – "I've known you 2 months, so now I'll name my kid after you"
10/10 – "Beatings in Public(x)"
10/8 – "Why don't they call it that?"
10/7 – "How smart is my cat?"
10/6 – "Take this, avoid hangovers"
10/5 – "Not so fast"
10/3 – "2-ply toilet paper: highly inefficient"
10/2 – "Really scared of getting killed by a train"
10/1 – "Sure, I'll take my boots off…and smack you in the face with them"
9/30 – "Gaseous unborn children"
9/29 – "Philosophy"
9/28 – "Best way to make weight…"
9/27 – "You know who I look like…"
9/25 – "All photos at once"
9/24 – "Fuck Pizza Hut and their trickery"
9/23 – "Ah, I feel better"
9/21 – "What else is on the menu, bitch?"
9/20 – "Not a pedophile!"
9/18 – "More on quarters / retarded soda machine from heaven"
9/17 – "Change for the sake of change?"
9/15 – "Alternative fundraisers"
9/14 – "Robot orgy"
9/13 – "Right back where I started from"
9/12 – "Carson Daly defies logic"
9/11 – "The worst thing you can do is fart"
9/9 – "We're all addicted to Krackel"
9/8 – "Breaking down video with Bill Belichick"
9/7 – "At least it was while he was alive"
9/5 – "Extras and craft service for really really low budget films"
9/4 – "Stupid answer to a stupid question"
9/2 – "Compromise in the workplace"
9/1 – "Still don't understand the restaurant grading system"
8/31 – "How to impress me at Karaoke"
8/30 – "Quick question about the selection of Sarah Palin"
8/28 – "Skateboarding age limit"
8/27 – "All I want is a nearby Walmart so clean that I can eat off it's floors"
8/26 – "Tuxedo t-shirts"
8/25 – "Bathroom attendants"
8/23 – "Once you give 'em money, you can say anything"
8/21 – "Good season, can count the humiliations on one hand"
8/20 – "Judges? It's a snack"
8/19 – "Newsweek made me laugh"
8/18 – "No public restrooms"
8/17 – "Bad name for a party"
8/16 – "Who cares about swimming anyway, I guess"
8/14 – "Legendary cluelessness"
8/13 – "Let's see some poor sports(wo)manship"
8/12 – "BFF’s, TBF’s, and terrible logic"
8/11 – "Has actress Mary Steenburgen had plastic surgery?"
8/9 – "Why do some people want to knock me down from my high?"
8/8 – "Can retards — uh, the mentally challenged vote?"
8/7 – "I have another call coming in, hold on"
8/6 – "Not the place for a joke"
8/5 – "If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, please delete my Myspace/Facebook"
8/4 – "9-1-1 doesn't care about Shia LeBeouf"
8/3 – "If you don't buy this Butterfinger, I will surely lead a life of crime"
8/1 – "Nobody Beats the Wiz, well until they went out of business"
7/31 – "D-Wade's mom: horrible speller"
7/30 – "It came out wrong"
7/28 – "Just like crying"
7/27 – "Hopefully Henry Wyatt won't be so stupid and so uncultured"
7/26 – "Plastic bag ban – horrible idea"
7/24 – "The only people more bizarre than actors are acting teachers"
7/23 – "Remedy to elevator awkwardness"
7/22 – "I forgot I was a corporate sell-out"
7/21 – "Twist on corporal punishment"
7/20 – "I don't give a shit about first ladies"
7/19 – "Ice makes me angry"
7/17 – "I was wondering…"
7/16 – "More great progress from the human race"
7/15 – "I’m not worried about you"
7/14 – "Look at him, so human-like"
7/13 – "I see dead people watching dead people if they’re watching The 6th Sense”
7/12 – "Sick of Bangkok jokes"
7/11 – "Is it gay to…?"
7/9 – "Ideal living room"
7/8 – "Guitar stor-ies"
7/6 – "I can't wait until winter. Yeah I said it!"
7/5 – "Quick note on the Barney's jukebox"
7/4 – "Tell him/her I say hello"
7/3 – "Scare-cut"
7/2 – "Stdmatch.com"
7/1 – "Leave your glasses on"
6/30 – "Nobody really likes cotton candy"
6/29 – "Chasing hors d'oeuvres"
6/27 – "End of innocence"
6/25 – "Enemy confusion"
6/24 – "Stupid kitty, fucking up my air mattress"
6/22 – "Jews for Jesus"
6/21 – "Link rules"
6/20 – "I don’t get it, but then again I've never tried it"
6/18 – "Just let her pee in her pants like a normal kid"
6/17 – "Church parking"
6/16 – "Conversational road signs"
6/15 – "You never gonna get this, but I'll drink that thank you"
6/14 – "I still plan to sue Excalibur"
6/12 – "People who think they can find anything on the Internet IV"
6/11 – "Tough to delete selected texts"
6/10 – "Leftover globs"
6/9 – "Worst gift ever and I need it"
6/8 – "See, it wasn't me"
6/6 – "Keep speed addicts around for rides"
6/5 – "I guess the health teacher forgot to mention that one"
6/4 – "More on covers"
6/3 – "Add that to the iCal"
6/2 – "Holey earrings"
6/1 – "I'd like to thank the Academy and Manny Ramirez"
5/31 – "Guys pay $20 cover, girls are free"
5/30 – "Prison bus nonsense"
5/29 – "Star Wars for chicks"
5/28 – "Pennies, urinals, and Jewish stereotypes"
5/27 – "Please look at my food"
5/26 – "Fake Myspace page"
5/24- "Gum is a connector, not merely an adhesive"
5/23 – "Top 10 list of bodily sensations not including orgasm"
5/21 – "NBA promos disprove racist theories"
5/20 – "Checker Cab Company encourages DWI's"
5/19 – "What I wanna name my first daughter"
5/18 – "Myspace at work for Myspace"
5/17 – "Some more stuff on Mohawks"
5/14 – "The Lunchtruck"
5/13 – "Birthday freedoms"
5/12 – "I don't wanna be a superhero"
5/11 – "Start walking"
5/9 – "2 songs in 1"
5/7 – "Losers"
5/6 – "Only Dave runs in place"
5/5 – "Couch jumping"
5/4 – "The $2 bill"
5/3 – "I can't imagine what this fucking maniac was looking for"
5/2 – "Do we trust each other or not?"
5/1 – "M&M's, Nickelodeon, and a sign I'm coming of age"
4/30 – "Jew photographers are much smarter than country hicks and 15 year old pop stars"
4/29 – "Happy Day Jomo"
4/28 – "Snoop blogg"
4/27 – "Is there something about my personality that invites these incidents?"
4/26 – "AT&T, you won't win"
4/24 – "Fingernail painting"
4/23 – "Not white guys"
4/21 – "Seder perversion"
4/19 – "Impressed by your restraint"
4/18 – "Ouija Board is a piece of shit game"
4/17 – "I dare you to buy something other than Heinz ketchup"
4/15 – "Another good survey/test for some Harlem residents"
4/13 – "Countries without the Internet"
4/12 – "Facebook is probably out of control"
4/11 – "Bozzz doesn't understand me anymore"
4/10 – "I wonder if that's what happened to the elastic in my underwear"
4/9 – "Smell my finger and you'll be amazed — I know I am"
4/8 – "Some guys are pussies when it comes to ketchup"
4/6 – "Celebrity wife cookbooks"
4/5 – "New Michael Jackson theory"
4/4 – "Soap trick"
4/2 – "But how do I taste?"
4/1 – "Suggestions for office pranks"
3/31 – "Baffled by Vitamin water"
3/29 – "America sucks, but all the Chinese love the Tibetans"
3/27 – "I bet some of 'em got killed for a sandwich"
3/26 – "You might wanna reset the treadmill"
3/25 – "Can I actually donate that?"
3/24 – "Non-sexual rape"
3/23 – "I guess I shouldn't ever really complain about high school"
3/22 – "A sign I may have given up on humanity"
3/21 – "What did Jesus do on Saturday?"
3/20 – "Enough already with the goddam Jesus in the clouds"
3/18 – "Sounds like a board game to me"
3/17 – "Govern yourself"
3/16 – "Missing hikers in a small upstate NY town"
3/15 – "Lumberjack Iraq"
3/14 – "Forget McCain, Obama, or Clinton, I'm voting for Judge Judy"
3/13 – "Little League dynasty and the miracle game"
3/11 – "Save the environment in places where it's most fucked up"
3/10 – "Who's calling?"
3/8 – "Fever justification"
3/6 – "Shit in the dark"
3/5 – "American Idol producers are such pieces of shit, and they do such a good job too"
3/4 – "Big surprise, Moses was high"
3/2 – "The Nyquil challenge"
3/1 – "Admissions about sunglasses"
2/29 – "Feeling sad in the future"
2/26 – "I'll be in the other room if you need something"
2/25 – "Guilt-free attraction to Ellen Page"
2/24 – "Condoms in strip clubs"
2/23 – "So what do you think that is?"
2/22 – "C'mon Ralphs, just gimme a fucking milk crate"
2/21 – "The term Internet stalker is used way too freely"
2/20 – "What if there's more than one Ryan Seacrest?"
2/19 – "Give the beef to them"
2/18 – "Beef recall"
2/17 – "Strippers must hate Motley Crue"
2/16 – "Johan Santana will probably win 25 games"
2/15 – "Bozzz and the counting of the cocks"
2/14 – "Gymnasts and their periods"
2/12 – "Fine, I'm impressed"
2/11 – "He said it, not me"
2/10 – "People who criticized Michael Jordan for playing baseball"
2/9 – "Big deal, it smells like fish"
2/8 – "Assume she's spreading all kindsa shit"
2/7 – "I refuse to bury that flag"
2/6 – "Sound of snot"
2/5 – "Investigative journalism"
2/4 – "$49.95 on PPV"
2/3 – "Grilled cheese sandwiches"
2/1 – "Only a real schmuck watches the Super Bowl at a bar"
1/31 – "Avoiding gym tours"
1/30 – "Brett Butler's mom is Nostradamus"
1/29 – "Perfect spot"
1/28 – "Hair update"
1/27 – "Dead fish in a public tank"
1/25 – "I didn't change, sue me"
1/24 – "It's not you, it's the car"
1/23 – "Would somebody please go "Tonya Harding" on Tom Brady?"
1/22 – "More on salmon burgers"
1/21 – "Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, and the rest of Fox cheated you"
1/19 – "Arnica Montana: cocaine to battered and ashamed wives"
1/18 – "Where's my Britney Spears made for TV movie?"
1/17 – "I guess Mace is for chicks"
1/16 – "God values sneezing more than coughing"
1/15 – "Wow, not a bad day at all"
1/14 – "Hitting she-males"
1/13 – "We want the Patriots to win (lose)"
1/12 – "Washing my face in the kitchen sink"
1/11 – "First ever post not written by me, but probably my best"
1/10 – "Will Smith is a stupid shitbag"
1/9 – "Amy Fisher is hotter than Princess Diana, sorry"
1/8 – "Depressed skydiving instructor"
1/7 – "Why I'm a great human being"
1/6 – "Come on doc, you know you wanna"
1/5 – "I'd slit my wrists too if I owned a Roxette cassette"
1/3 – "Barry Bonds rookie card"
1/2 – "Ashley Madison has a big wet orgasm on a pile of money as your heart breaks"
1/1 – "Pairs of socks"

2007

12/30 – "Getting grandma high"
12/28 – "Confessions of a fat slob"
12/26 – "I hope it's a catered affair"
12/25 – "Atheists with coupons still don't get into heaven"
12/24 – "Poor Dane Cook"
12/23 – "Please just watch the road"
12/21 – "Ew threshold"
12/20 – "Best gay joke ever"
12/19 – "The Simpsons test"
12/18 – "Black mannequins"
12/17 – "A little early, no?"
12/16 – "Selective reporting"
12/14 – "Ties and t-shirts"
12/13 – "Raw food and my feminine side"
12/12 – "It never gets old"
12/11 – "I really do feel bad about that"
12/10 – "For all your advertising needs, feel free to come to me Gillette"
12/9 – "Just like a commercial"
12/8 – "Roulette, stupid old wives game — perfect for me"
12/7 – "Date rapists are such pussies"
12/6 – "So you wanna be a gynecologist?"
12/5 – "I'm still pissed, mom"
12/4 – "I don't think it's gonna ever be back"
12/3 – "So what exactly is wrong with you?"
12/2 – "East coast bias"
12/1 – "Rabbits make terrible pets, right?"
11/30 – "The nothing people"
11/29 – "I'm not giving you shit if you lie to me"
11/28 – "Holocaust jokes don't really fly at Jewish singles events"
11/27 – "Girls have it right"
11/26 – "Thick skin"
11/25 – "Yes. We're brothers"
11/16 – "Sing Happy Birthday, assholes"
11/15 – "Either play beer-pong or lick the bottom of my shoes"
11/14 – "Please explain to me how the WNBA still exists"
11/13 – "Best way to advertise for fibersomething"
11/12 – "We're fucked up"
11/11 – "Rock n' roll Ralphs"
11/9 – "I chose not to become a doctor"
11/8 – "User names and passwords"
11/7 – "Open space"
11/6 – "Real name"
11/5 – "Underrated fashion foresight"
11/4 – "Versatile contestant"
11/2 – "Tammy Reid – worst mother ever"
11/1 – "Eat all Halloween candy"
10/31 – "Annual Horah injuries"
10/30 – "Completely made up dream interpretations"
10/29 – "Burping and farting females"
10/27 – "Would you bang a hot retard?"
10/25 – "By the way, Peppermint Patty probably isn't a lesbian"
10/24 – "Osama bin Laden DVD box set – the perfect holiday gift"
10/22 – "Am I being logical or paranoid?"
10/20 – "Idea for a Halloween costume"
10/19 – "I thought Ellen was the man of the relationship"
10/18 – "Backpacks, man-purses, and my own immaturity"
10/17 – "Christian anal virginity"
10/15 – "Fantasy Bass Fishing"
10/14 – "Humidity & wind chill factor"
10/13 – "Jerking off, then trying to shit"
10/11 – "New rule"
10/10 – "Skipping"
10/9 – "Airport security pretty much rapes old people"
10/8 – "Bluejeans philosophies"
10/7 – "Yelling from cars"
10/5 – "Amish comas"
10/3 – "Satan worshippers"
10/2 – "Drinkin’ water"
10/1 – "The story of Murray’s Supreme Hair Dressing Pomade"
9/30 – "So you had a bad day?"
9/27 – "And you think I’m a complaining Jew? Wow."
9/26 – "To the defense of The Sizzler"
9/25 – "Apology to people who have had sex changes"
9/24 – "But I only eat fish"
9/23 – "Fibbing treadmills"
9/22 – "Fuck G-d"
9/21 – "Ringside Liquor"
9/19 – "Cool new people"
9/18 – "You haven’t earned the right to wear that"
9/17 – "Misogyny and optimism"
9/15 – "T-shirts with words on them"
9/13 – "My mom’s left-wing politics nearly killed me"
9/12 – "Always keep hard copies of records when you make friendly bets"
9/11 – "Radio techniques"
9/10 – "Oh stop, you’re just as creepy"
9/9 – "Show for retards"
9/8 – "Shopping for shoes like it’s a Super Toy Run"
9/6 – "First ever blog dedication — for Tyler"
9/5 – "Kanye West & 50 Cent"
9/4 – "Life is unfair"
9/3 – "Grammar manifesto"
9/2 – "People who think they can find anything on the Internet III"
8/31 – "I thought you were good at numbers"
8/29 – "My 2nd deepest darkest fear"
8/28 – "Eh, we went to the moon"
8/27 – "Beans and pointless math"
8/25 – "I guess it’s genetic"
8/23 – "Ziploc makes $6.5 billion yearly—how much from drugs?"
8/22 – "Tell me if this makes any sense"
8/21 – "Please show that on TV"
8/19 – "Don’t bring your fucking baby to Sunset Junction"
8/17 – "3 impossible feats that guys can’t do"
8/16 – "Look at me being all complimentary"
8/14 – "Why is there no people food?"
8/13 – "Suggestions for Hallmark"
8/11 – "Environmentally conscious vagabonds"
8/10 – "If I went into confessional, it might sound like…"
8/9 – "Two awesomely terrible pick-up lines"
8/8 – "Stupid salad"
8/7 – "Better option for school shooters"
8/4 – "Myspace messages from people that don’t exist"
8/2 – "Lesbians in kilts"
8/1 – "Fuck Goofy, I shoulda sued"
7/30 – "Che Guevara"
7/29 – "People in their twenties that say they never want kids"
7/27 – "A pimple, yay?"
7/24 – "Check mirrors before spitting?"
7/23 – "ESPN is not only greedy, but also quite dumb"
7/19 – "Mutilation and circumcision are not the same thing"
7/18 – "Take a number, and shove it up your ass"
7/15 – "A-Date"
7/13 – "Jason exists, and is a psycho………no really"
7/11 – "Cubicle decorations"
7/10 – "Do not play Hangman with black people"
7/7 – "Obsessions, confessions, and overused phrases"
7/5 – "Homos in outer space"
7/2 – "Wednesday off is weird"
7/1 – "More hostility towards cigarette smokers"
6/29 – "See, recycling can be disgusting"
6/28 – "You are not a pornstar"
6/27 – "I can hear your music through your headphones"
6/25 – "Summer Solstice, truly the longest day of the year"
6/18 – "5 random underrated sitcom characters"
6/17 – "LA Parks Department is sexist"
6/15 – "I know nothing about technology, but am awaiting…"
6/13 – "The hypocrisy of alcohol and sports"
6/12 – "Dead people aren't always attractive"
6/11 – "Cheetos should come with latex gloves included"
6/9 – "The pen is no longer mightier than the sword, it is the sword"
6/8 – "It's okay to steal tips when…"
6/7 – "I plan to kill a biker"
6/6 – "Human-man: a real hero"
6/3 – "People who buy DVD's just to fill up their rack"
6/1 – "Michael Vick sucks at life"
5/29 – "Dirty wordy gurdy answers"
5/26 – "First ever interactive blog, dirty wordy gurdy"
5/25 – "The best thing about joining a band or owning a horse"
5/22 – "People in my building that walk by me with their heads down"
5/21 – "Anybody who texts a vote for anything ever"
5/15 – "Interleague play"
5/14 – "Dreamgirls couldn't figure itself out"
5/10 – "Why Pinocchio was a traumatic experience"
5/8 – "The Secret"
5/6 – "Hair gel and usage of the letter x"
5/4 – "Things Paris Hilton will say while spending time in prison"
5/1 – "I live an extreme lifestyle"
4/30 – "Sheryl Crow knows nothing about my asshole"
4/28 – "I think I might need to lose some weight because…"
4/26 – "Booger Eaters"
4/25 – "Bread butts/end pieces"
4/24 – "You're some basketball player"
4/23 – "He committed paraphernalia and they threw him in prison"
4/22 – "Question about genetics"
4/20 – "Arguments against the courtesy flush"
4/19 – "Russian hockey players are dumb"
4/18 – "Horses getting high in the parking lot"
4/17 – "I already checked"
4/15 – "How horny is Rachel Robinson?"
4/14 – "Tattoos on hot chixes"
4/13 – "Volleyball is for maniacs and murderers"
4/12 – "Don Imus and Anna Nicole Smith's baby!"
4/10 – "Blogfunk"
4/7 – "Front door, back door"
4/5 – "Sad News"
4/3 – "Best way to drive drunk"
4/2 – "Get your plastic surgery done over the weekend"
3/30 – "Frogs and toads wrestle"
3/29 – "Is it confusing when Snoop Dogg needs a chisel?"
3/28 – "FM Oldies stations that cut extended solos from songs"
3/27 – "I can't wait for conservatives to…"
3/26 – "Bozzz breaking promises"
3/24 – "How do color blind people eat jellybeans?"
3/23 – "Perhaps it might be time to change my ways"
3/21 – "Some things Sanjaya can do"
3/20 – "Gas vs. Cigarettes"
3/18 – "Hungry Hungry Hippos is propaganda"
3/16 – "Even Jesus couldn't help me with my bracket"
3/14 – "Wave at cars with tinted windows"
3/13 – "Advice for terrorists"
3/12 – "Is it easier to…?"
3/10 – "Bowling is for everyone"
3/9 – "What can be cute?"
3/6 – "Get rid of helmets in hockey"
3/5 – "Lack of jukebox foresight"
3/3 – "Lesbian animals"
3/2 – "Advertising for The Forward"
2/28 – "Tim Hardaway's grammar"
2/27 – "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye"
2/26 – "It's just a rumor, just a rumor"
2/24 – "Ice Breakers Sours"
2/23 – "Paula Abdul-Jabbar"
2/22 – "Is it really that exciting to drive alongside of somebody you know?"
2/21 – "Wanting to write a blog, but not having one to write"
2/19 – "The real father of Bridget Moynahan's baby"
2/15 – "PeOpLe ThAt TyPe LiKe ThIs"
2/13 – "People who think they can find anything on the Internet II"
2/12 – "Jesus Takes the Wheel! (and avoids traffic)"
2/11 – "Karma, football predictions, free drinks, and Justin Timberlake"
2/9 – "How long I gotta wait til I can use Anna Nicole Smith for material?"
2/8 – "Richard Simmons"
2/7 – "Soccer Riots"
2/5 – "I am not a racist, but…"
2/4 – "Fuck (F-u-c-k T-o-p 8)…for now"
2/2 – "Who's worse, Chris Daughtry or Adolf Hitler?"
2/1 – "Fuck you, I'm a cat"
1/29 – "Wolfgang Van Halen"
1/28 – "Considerations for banning transfat"
1/24 – "Things that will occur before Chinese Democracy is released"
1/23 – "What I expect from my future wife"
1/22 – ""Words that are pronounced in more than one way"
1/19 – "Homeless beggars that set up camp in stupid spots that make no sense"
1/17 – "Faith in humankind reaffirmed in the supermarket"
1/16 – "Simon Cowell"
1/14 – "My deepest darkest fear"
1/12 – "Working on Martin Luther King Day"
1/11 – "Private profiles"
1/10 – "Betty White's invincibility"
1/9 – "Stench in NYC"
1/7 – "Tribute to James Brown – the blackest man of all time"
1/5 – "Vaginal Rejuvenation Tour 2007?"
1/2 – "Grandpa's teeth"

2006

12/21 – "Home Depot commercial jingle"
12/20 – "People who don't think this is the funniest story ever"
12/18 – "These prick-bastards who wear O.J. Simpson USC jerseys"
12/17 – "Parents putting videos of their infants playing harmonica on Youtube"
12/15 – "Trey Anastasio"
12/14 – "The new east coast/west coast war"
12/13 – "Don Carmen"
12/12 – "Insecurity of Americans to accept the usefulness of a bidet"
12/11 – "Invisible creatures that take our shit when we ain't lookin"
12/9 – "Wikipedia's excludng of spinoff names for Baba Booey"
12/8 – "Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 89 most redundant, repetitive cliches in music"
12/7 – "You artsy liberal hip Mac users"
12/6 – "Pedestrian rebelliousness in the presence of the elderly and handicapped"
12/5 – "Going to the gym, sitting in the parking lot for 45 minutes, then leaving"
12/4 – "The NY sports media"
12/3 – "My cat's disdain for paper towels"
12/2 – "Leaders from different countries speaking at podiums on top steps of historical sites"
12/1 – "White socks"
11/30 – "Accidental viewings of she-male porn from misleading thumbnails"
11/29 – "Proposed name change for Baba Booey"
11/28 – "Those not recognizing the true hero of the Michael Richards racist rant"
11/26 – "Long white t-shirt wearin' mofos"
11/24 – "Ray Charles"
11/22 – "AT&T"
11/21 – "My relationship with waiters/waitresses"
11/20 – "People who have had sex change operations"
11/17 – "People who think they can find anything on the Internet"
11/16 – "Serena Williams"
11/15 – "People who think the War in Iraq is a conundrum"
11/13 – "Sir Mix-A-Lot"
11/10 – "Mayonnaise"
11/7 – "Oprah's studio audience"
11/6 – "People who think I'm ambidextrous"
10/30 – "Critics of the Ultimate Warrior"
10/24 – "People that say the book is always better than the movie"
10/20 – "Myself"
10/13 – "Scientology"
10/6 – "Twins Catcher Joe Mauer"
9/18 – "Super Mario Bros. 2"
9/13 – "People that root for teams outside their geographical region"
9/10 – "CW11"
9/7 – "On Notice – Comment Deleters, Wikipedia fraud, the Paparazzi"

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