Adam J. Choit

You’ve heard that I’m sure — that people we know, or even famous people die in threes.  Eh.  I don’t know about that.  Believe it or not, people die all the time.

As far as celebrity people are concerned, there’s just way too much gray area for me to buy into the dying-in-threes thing.  I mean, how famous does one have to be, to be part of the club?  Also, what are the rules with the passage of time? — like if two relatively famous people die, then a third three weeks later — that would count, right?  But what about a third death five weeks later, or seven weeks later?

Recently, we lost Dick Clark, Junior Seau, Maurice Sendak, and just yesterday the hair guy Vidal Sassoon had the nerve to die, making it four reasonably famous people dead, within just 22 days.

So what do you expect me to do?  We’re not gonna change this to the rule-of-fours now, are we?  Maybe we oughta just knock the least famous person out of the bunch.  I think Dick Clark for sure is safe, but with the other three, there’s less clarity.

So in conclusion, there is no “dying-in-threes” — only “dying-in-one-hundred-seven-billions.” (depending on who you ask, give or take a buncha billions+ since the dawn of man 50,000 years ago)

It seems for much of my adult life, I’ve been finding myself in conversations with my guy friends, that have something to do with texting girls…

1) I met a girl over the weekend.

2) I got her number.

3) What should I text her?

4) When do I send that text?

…but this one is really for all the non players out there, who’ve ever gotten a girl’s phone number, and then spent way too much time trying to figure out the perfect text to send her.

Hope you enjoy my first ever Xtranormal cartoon video.

I’m pretty sure that in order to be considered cool, you have to “discover” stuff before other people do.  I’m usually the last to know about something — or just don’t care about whatever it is in the first place.  So being, or becoming cool probably isn’t on the horizon for me anytime soon.

But in general, a lot of humans love to become all dramatic on each other, when one of us hasn’t heard a particular song, or started watching some new tv show yet.  We (the discoverers) take so much pride in this.  We sometimes talk and act like we are the ones actually in the band or something.  I do think it’s admirable to be a fan from the beginning, but I think we can all probably take it down a notch.

Its like, we’ll see someone post a meme on Facebook, and react all— “Will you look at what this fool has posted..I have seen this already.  Like five months ago.  And no one posts those anymore. You loser..How dare you post something I’ve already seen..You are the most unhip person, ever…You should kill yourself.”

Idk, I assume we’ve all encouraged a suicide at one point or another while scrolling through our newsfeed on Facebook. Or maybe it’s just me.  Who knows.

After “Where’s My Crosswalk?” has made the rounds on the Internet this week, Fox 11 followed up with a story about this area of Sunset Blvd in Hollywood, CA — between Gardner and Poinsettia by Guitar Center, Sam Ash, & Aroma Cafe.

No mention of me or my video, but hey, at least they’re covering this and helping the cause.

Because there needs to be a crosswalk on Sunset Blvd in Hollywood, CA — between N. Gardner St. & N. Poinsettia Pl. How dare they inconvenience me by making me horseshoe around at the closest, but rather distant traffic light.

It’s not exactly the safest place out there, either.

As some of you may already know, a while back I contacted the L.A. D.O.T. suggesting we need a crosswalk, right near Guitar Center on Sunset Blvd in Hollywood, CA.  Since the city dismissed my suggestion, I made this short documentary which shows very much why a crosswalk is necessary for pedestrian safety.  A crosswalk in this location would actually benefit local economy as well, by making it more convenient for pedestrians to get from business to business.

Please watch & share, help force the city to take action. #wheresmycrosswalk

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how I enjoy eating fast food (in moderation), but really prefer not to watch the food itself being prepared.  I understand the health codes that exist in this country, but nevertheless, I can’t imagine all that much care goes into food preparation by a person who makes minimum wage.

Not exactly the same scenario, but in the same boat is valet parking — which often is an abomination here in Los Angeles.  First of all, growing up I always thought of valet parking as something that was fancy, and something associated with fancy places — but that’s not necessarily always the case in L.A.  Middle of the road bars and restaurants will have valet parking, basically so they can stack cars.

I’ve heard that in many states, that for a person to park cars, he/she isn’t even required to have a driver’s license.  Wow.  Um, I’d say that I’m an okay driver, but my parking skills are possibly below average.  Not that I go around smacking every car in the lot, but I’m always “fixing it.”  And I actually have a license.

Anyway, similarly to (not) watching some kid make my fast food, I also like to avoid watching a stranger drive my car.  My preference is to avoid valet parking at all costs, but that’s not always a possibility.  When I can’t avoid valet parking, I just hand off my keys, and try to avoid watching.  I mean, I’m sure my car will be fine, but watching on can only make me more nervous about the whole situation.

Recently I heard a story about this guy who once asked a homeless man for a cigarette.  At first, I thought to myself it’s probably wrong to ask a poor homeless person for anything, but I quickly reconsidered my feelings about this.

Besides the fact the guy would now have one less harmful cigarette to smoke, there’s an even more substantial benefit here.  I bet that this homeless man actually felt some sense of pride.  I assume its usually him that asks for the handout — whether it’s money, food, or whatever the case may be.

It’s kinda like when I visit my 90 year old grandmother and make her do my laundry.  As an old person, society often looks down on her just for being old.  Well, I make her feel young, and like she still can contribute to society.

Moral of the story is that I urge you not to hesitate to ask homeless people for favors — and then same goes for asking favors of the elderly and handicapped, too.

What can I say, I’m just all about treating people equally.

How the hell does this work? If you’re at a big party or a function, particularly one in which you know a bulk of the guests personally, how exactly do you go about handling the “goodbyes?”

If it’s a large gathering and you’re ready to leave, it’s quite unreasonable to think you have to say goodbye to everyone you know. Who takes the time for such nonsense? Most of us aren’t politicians, so it’s not as if we’re going to make a conscious effort to shake everyone’s hands, and go around hugging and kissing people goodbye.

I have some personal guidelines for such situations. First of all, anyone that you came to the party with originally, you ought to let them know when/that you’re leaving (if you’re not going to be leaving with them).

Close friends also ought to be in the loop, and are worthy of a goodbye. I think that’s reasonable.

This one can be trickier, but you should also probably say goodbye to anyone who’s between you and the exit — the people you see on your way out. I mean, it’s kinda awkward to just walk by someone you know without acknowledging them. It’s maybe more rude than awkward, actually.

The key is to just try to keep your feet moving, otherwise you’ll never get out of there.

You ever notice that’s usually what people say when they have absolutely no intention of returning that piece of paper.  Some of the language we use is really quite comical, or at the very least often inaccurate.

When you ask someone to borrow a piece of paper or to borrow a pencil, you’re not going to return those things.  Don’t ask to borrow!  What you really mean is, “Can I have..?”

On some subconscious level, as humans we’d prefer to lie to one another and fake politeness, rather than be straight forward.  Perhaps I’m just a little too upset about this.

You ever notice that nobody ever does anything when they hear a car alarm go off?  Nobody EVER does anything.  EVER.  At least that’s how people in cities and other heavily populated areas react (or don’t).  Despite cars being broken into and stolen regularly, what is your immediate reaction when you hear a car alarm go off?  “Oh my god!  Someone is trying to break into a car.  Call the cops!”  — Of course that’s not your reaction.  Your reaction is always “Some schmuck’s alarm won’t stop and it’s annoying the shit out of me.”  The way I see it, there are only two real purposes for having a car alarm.

Number one, if you live in the suburbs or a rural area – but even in the boonies car alarms are usually ignored.

The other reason to have a car alarm is so that when you can’t find your car in a crowded parking lot/garage, you can press your car remote in hopes of hearing the sound of your car.

This kinda thing has surely happened to everyone, and if not specifically you, certainly you’ve seen/heard it happen to someone else.  Okay, so you pay for everything at the register, grab your receipt, then head for the exit at your local supermarket.  As you walk through the automatic doors, all of a sudden there’s that loud beeping.  You say to yourself, “Why the hell is that thing beeping?  Um, I paid for everything.”  That’s right, you did.  In fact, everyone working in supermarket knows this as well, based on the fact nobody ever runs after you into the parking lot.