Adam J. Choit

Obviously, I understand why calling Native Americans “Indians” completely makes no sense, and is offensive.  After all, Indians are from India, and you’d think maybe 500 years and a few genocides or so later that the white man would’ve realized this error.  But nope, Columbus thought you were Indians, so to too many people, that’s what you still are –  the few of you still remaining that is.

Now, I don’t mind calling black people African-American, or black, or whatever overwhelmingly is desired by this group of people.  It’s just that in this hyper-politically correct world in which we live, I feel like we sometimes get the absurd notion that just by changing the name of a group of people, it improves their overall situation, so to speak.

Comedian Wanda Sykes actually mentions this in one her of acts, that once the term African-American came along into popularity, the quality of her life was not improved at all…not even in the least bit.  In fact, according to Wikipedia, surveys show “…the majority of Black Americans have no preference for “African American” or “black,” although they have a slight preference for “black” in personal settings and “African American” in more formal settings..”

But the definition of what constitutes a personal setting, and a formal setting can be a bit unclear at times, in my opinion.  If anything, I think what this could mean is that, if you’re not African-American, you’re probably better off playing it safe by just using the term African-American.  But once again, what does this prove exactly?  I mean, in a country where most African Americans don’t care if you call them black, what’s wrong with just using black most of the time, if not all the time?

I think the funniest thing to me about all this, is watching white people get all baffled, not always knowing which term to use.  I love that occasional hesitation in the voice, when a white person has to make it known for whatever reason someone is black.  “Yes, I saw Bob in line.  He was standing right behind that bla–, err I mean African-American man.”  As if you’re going to offend people by saying black, even though it’s a term overwhelmingly no one takes any issue with.

How many different types of dogs and dog breeds are out there?  Seemingly countless ones.  I’m not a scientist, a veterinarian, or someone who retained much from high school biology, so honestly, I’m not exactly sure what makes a dog a dog.  Sure, I could do some research, but it doesn’t take research to know at least one quality that makes a dog a dog —- it can have sex with, and make babies with other dogs.

While there are many breeds of (domesticated) cats out there too, cats all pretty much come in the relatively the same sizes and shapes.  In other words, mating between any two cats doesn’t seem like a wild and bizarre event.  Whereas with dogs, they come in all different sizes and shapes, and if you were new to this planet you might not think of a German Shepherd and a Chihuahua as the same thing — a canine.

Although we’ve got a long way to go in this country in terms of overcoming our prejudices, at least interracial, interfaith, and inter-anything relationships are slowly becoming more and more accepted.  A dog probably looks at human interracial dating and thinks,  “Big deal.  You think skin color makes you look so different?  You think because you’re white and she’s black you guys are so different?  I’m a Great Dane and last week I banged a Poodle and a Yorkshire Terrier.”

With Hurricane Irene making it’s way through the east coast over the weekend, much of that region of the country was on high alert.  Not to downplay the damage caused by Irene, but it was nowhere near the damage that Hurricane Katrina caused.  Katrina sadly took the lives of almost 2,000 people.

Post-Katrina, former President Bush took a lot of heat and was accused of not doing enough to help the victims of this disaster.  He was accused of not acting quickly and steadfast enough.  Not only that, but with New Orleans being a city that has a rather large black population (many not exactly the wealthiest), Bush was accused of being racist — someone who doesn’t care at all about poor black people, and black people in general.

Now, while nobody (or at least it should be nobody) has ever thought Bush was the smartest person around, I never really thought of him as racist.  Racism itself isn’t always as overt as it used to be, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still exist.  If a giant tornado was threatening a bunch of wealthy white people in Texas, I bet President Bush would’ve reacted to that much differently than Katrina.  Bush might not use the n-word, but his ignoring, slow-to-react behavior was yes, a form of racism — because it was a declaration of where priorities were.  It was a showing of favoritism, in a way.

Anyway, if Katrina happened during the President Obama’s presidency, we would all like to think that the federal government would’ve done more to help —- and not because Barack Obama is a minority, but because he has better moral sense than Bush.

Nevertheless, it’s easy to be a Monday morning quarterback, and talk about the I woulda-coulda-shouldas, but I doubt President Obama cares more about black people than Bush.  Obama probably doesn’t care white people either.  Then who would Obama be most eager to help out in a disaster? — You guessed it, he’d probably only help bi-racial people, and ignore everyone else.

I think a lot of people out there suffer a bit from being a self-hating American — and sadly, I can kind of understand why.

While many Americans really are great people, and as a country we’ve done many wonderful things, often it’s all overshadowed by our flaws.  In addition to our history of questionable foreign policies (understatement) and often lack of respect for human and civil rights, we also have produced Paris Hilton and other embarrassing pop culture-y jokes.

Anyway, despite invading Iraq unnecessarily, and also spawning the Kardashians, I still find it disheartening when Americans root against the United States in International sporting events, such as the World Cup or the Olympics.

You’re an American.  Root for us.  Wtf.  Even if someone thinks they have legitimate reasons to root against the U.S. that go beyond a forced attempt at being provocative, I’m still not going to accept such acts of Benedict Arnoldism.

“Oh, I’m an Italian.  I root for Italy in the World Cup.”  Really, Italian?  You’re family has been in this country for 250 years now.  You can root for Italy, fine.  But if it’s U.S. vs. Italy, you better be rooting for us.

Do you know how/why you got your first name?  What about your middle name?  With Jewish tradition, parents almost always name their children in honor of the deceased in their family  — like if the mom’s great-grandpa was “Morty” she might name her newborn son Morty.  Other times (to avoid naming your child Morty), parents might just take the first letter of the deceased relative, and name their kid something less passé than Morty and more common, like Michael.

Gentiles, unlike Jews, will often name their children after those still living, often themselves — Bob Jones Jr. or Bob Jones III, etc etc.   Perhaps the idea of naming your child after yourself is a bit egocentric, but then again, maybe the hope is that the next generation will improve on the name.

Maybe the father thinks, “I’ve done okay in my life as Bob Jones, but hopefully my son Bob Jones will do an even better job, and take the name Bob Jones to the next level of awesomeness.

Surely you must know someone who’s a picky eater.  Perhaps you yourself are a picky eater.  Although I tend to eat the same things over and over again, I’m not sure if I’m a picky eater, per se.  I just don’t particularly like spicy foods, and probably don’t consume enough fruits and vegetables, either.

It’s just annoying when someone criticizes, even talks down to you for not liking certain foods. “Really?  How could you not like (insert food here)?  Everyone does.”  It’s that kinda talk that’s somewhat bothersome.

Everyone’s different, and it doesn’t make you a bad person because you don’t like something, or just don’t feel in the mood to try a new food.  Not wanting to try new food doesn’t make you a close-minded person —– at least not overwhelmingly close-minded.  As long as a person is healthy and has a balanced diet, why does it matter what culture your food is from?

Besides food, there’s plenty of other ways to enjoy and experience other cultures — such as through art and music.  I mean, if you look at a painting from another country, and it’s not your thing and not what you’re into, it’s no big deal.  But if you’re encouraged to try food from another culture, and hesitantly do so, perhaps finding out you don’t like the Wasabi flavored pig intestines will be more painful of a realization than the realization that you’re not into Indian art.

Everyone has personal tastes and types when it comes to who they like to date.  At the same time though, I don’t really ever discriminate, and am quite open-minded when it comes to this stuff (I can’t really afford not to be lol).  In addition to different races/religions/ethnic backgrounds, etc, I’d have no problem going out a handicapped person, such as an amputee.

Dating an amputee could lead to some challenges, but it depends on the specific case.  For example, I’d definitely have no problem going out with a girl who only has 1 arm.  I’d definitely go out with a girl also who has only 1 leg.

A girl with no legs though, I’d seriously have some reservations about dating.  That sounds like it’d be a lot of work for me.

A girl with no arms though?  Wow.  I’m definitely not mature and caring enough to be ready for something like this.

If everyone had the workday off on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, like they should, I wouldn’t find myself in these conversations.

ME:  Are you off on Monday?

ANONYMOUS:  No.

ME:  Your office hates black people?

ANONYMOUS: Yes.

ME:  Does that mean you have to work extra hours?

ANONYMOUS:  No, only the black people do.

A while back I wrote about how I’ m not so much a huge fan of women hyphenating their names after they get married.  Ya know, keeping the maiden name, adding a hyphen, then having the husband’s last name come after that.  In some ways, I feel like by keeping a maiden name, you’ve almost got your foot halfway out the door —— before the marriage even begins.

Anyway, lets be honest here, hyphenated names just don’t sound as good in English either.    Nancy Johnson-Smith.   Melissa Jones-Parker.  Boring as fuck.

I say only Hispanic women should be allowed to have these extended/hyphenated names.  Maria Delacruz-Velasquez.  Juanita Perez-Uribe.

Now those names sound cool, sexy, fun —— thus acceptable, in my book.

Depending on what we’re applying for, often we’ll cater our résumés to increase our odds of landing a particular job.  Many résumés will include an “interests/hobbies,” or a “special skills” section.

I was wondering if some of these things ought to be included…

If you have good “gaydar,” maybe that oughta be added to a résumé.  While my gaydar is average/below average (probably because I’m straight for one thing), I actually do have pretty good “Jewdar.”  I couldn’t pick out every Jew in a crowd, but when I claim to spot one, I’m usually pretty on the money.  Besides Jewdar and gaydar, there are other meaningless abilities some people have.

Like what about “sexdar?”  Sometimes I’ll see people in the supermarket — -and have no idea what sex he or she is.   I’m sure some people are better than others at identifying the actual sex of androgynous folk.

Other times, it’s tough tell the race/background of a person — or if someone is multi-racial, what the breakdown is.

You probably think these types of questions are irrelevant, and people shouldn’t be judged by any of this stuff — especially in the workplace.  This is true. But at the same time, our sexual identity, orientation, genetic background, and heritage are all big parts of our makeup as people.

Besides, we’re all curious people by nature.

You’re lying if you’ve never had a convo that went something like, “I wonder if that guy/girl is ____ ”

That’s why it’s good to have people around who have accurate intuitions for this kinda stuff — to avoid asking these awkward/irrelevant/personal questions directly!