Adam J. Choit

Yup, it’s true.  By now most of you have heard the confirmation that Chick-fil-A, the fast food restaurant chain openly supports anti-gay groups and political agendas.  Chick-fil-A’s President Dan Cathy, told Baptist Press that the chain is “guilty as charged” in supporting the biblical definition of family.  I think we know what that means.  A report from LGBT advocacy group Equality Matters concluded that Chick-fil-A donated more than $3 million between 2003 and 2009 to Christian groups that (openly and actively) oppose homosexuality.

As far as I can follow, logic dictates that homosexuality is not something is to “be for”, or “opposed to.”  It just is — and is someone else’s sexual orientation.  Gay men and women all over the world are having sex right now.  Do people opposed to homosexuality feel like their rights are being infringed upon?  right at this very second?  If not right at this moment, then when?  You let me know.

Many people are (justifiably) coming out (no pun intended), condemning Mr. Fil-A.  People are Facebooking and Tweeting, “I’m never eating there again!”  But I’ve also seen posts that reflect my sentiments, “I’ve never eaten act Chick-fil-A but now I’m definitely not going there” …or something to that nature.

But I feel like me merely “continuing not to go to Mr. Fil-A’s restaurant” doesn’t really actively punish them for their open support of discrimination.  And while it’s not my duty to do so, sometimes going beyond a simple boycott is a good thing.

So, along with my previously-unknowingly, now-knowlingly boycott comes an encouragment.   I encourage any and all gay people to stop by your local Chick-fil-A for bit. Not to cause a scene, or to yell, or to even protest — at least not in the conventional way.  But I say hold hands.  Lovingly kiss nearby these little shithole fast food joints.  Just let them know what’s up.  I just think it’d be funny if there were gay people hanging out outside Chic-fil-A spots for some period of time, but not going inside to eat.

So pretend to be a customer.  Tease ‘em.  Just enough for the local employees to notice —just enough for them to report this nuisance up to corporate headquarters, to well, give them that much more to worry about these days, in addition to the media firestorm.

To reiterate, I’m NOT encouraging anyone to break laws, to be violent, or to be vulgar in any public setting.  But if you’re gay, and a fan of PDA’s (public displays of affection), and find yourself in the Atlanta area, Chick fil-A’s corporate headquarters is at 5200 Buffington Road Atlanta, GA 30349.

It seems for much of my adult life, I’ve been finding myself in conversations with my guy friends, that have something to do with texting girls…

1) I met a girl over the weekend.

2) I got her number.

3) What should I text her?

4) When do I send that text?

…but this one is really for all the non players out there, who’ve ever gotten a girl’s phone number, and then spent way too much time trying to figure out the perfect text to send her.

Hope you enjoy my first ever Xtranormal cartoon video.

To follow up on yesterday, here’s another example of an “I’d-sure-think-about-doing-that, but-never-act-upon-it” type of thought.

One of the more popular kind of photos that you see posted on Facebook is a photograph that features a group of 5+ girls in a row, in their outfits — and either out, or ready to go out for the evening.  Because I leave in reality, let me articulate what every heterosexual male thinks when they come across this type of photo with a group of girls in it.  Guys go from left to right, look at each girl, and say to themselves, “Yes.  No. Yes. Maybe. No. No. Yes.”

Now just if only one guy out there (someone probably has I assume) would actually post that as a comment — the whole “Yes. No. Yes. Maybe. No. No. Yes.”  Admittedly, I would never do so, in fear of being labeled an inappropriate judgmental sexist pig.  But if it’s true that we guys already have these thoughts in our head, umm, what does that make all of us?  I guess it’s ok to be an innapropriate sexist pig, as long as you’re only that in your head.

In many cases, I bet girls do the same exact thing.  Surely many wimmens must look at our bro-ish dude pics with us and our friends in them, and think to themselves, “I’d do him, not him, him, not him, him maybe, him for sure.” And the same goes for the gays too, and everyone really when they’re looking at these types of group photos.

Anyway, if I ever see someone post a comment like this on Facebook, I wouldn’t outwardly endorse it (in fact I might condemn it), but at the same time I’d probably laugh and say “wow” in my head.  And if you weren’t a “no” in the photo itself, you might just chuckle in your head as well — and doing so probably wouldn’t make you the worst person in the world.

‘Tis the age old question.  If a heterosexual man prefers to get a professional massage from woman rather than a man, does that make him homophobic?  Perhaps a little bit, yes.  In my personal opinion though, being a little homophobic is not at all the same thing as being anti-gay.

Personally, I’d prefer to get a massage from a woman.  I think the reason many (straight) guys feel the same way, is because of the following:  A massage involves being touched by someone else.  It is supposed to give pleasure.  Sometimes when experiencing bodily pleasure, it’s possible for a man to become aroused (despite a massage not necessarily being an intended sexual experience).  Even if a guy gives another guy a massage, and the guy getting the massage becomes a bit aroused, of course this doesn’t make him gay.  We all know erections can be caused from anything sometimes, having nothing to do with sexual attraction.

I think there’s nothing wrong/weird about a man getting a professional massage from another man, especially if it’s for medical/therapeutic reasons.

But what about friends who are good at giving massages? Sure, it’s “normal” for female friends to give each other massages, and even so for platonic male/female friends to do so as well.

And what about a heterosexual man giving his heterosexual male friend a massage?  You can be a gay man, a woman, or just any person who considers themselves liberal/open-minded, etc. — but if you saw your straight male friend giving his straight male friend a massage, you’d have to think it’s a bit bizarre.

In an ideal world, double standards wouldn’t exist.  But this isn’t an ideal world.  This is reality.

The whole idea of anything that can be an “exception to the rule” intrigues me.  (Believe it or not), I’m not a biologist, scientist, or doctor of any kind, so I’m not exactly sure what determines the sex of someone.

Sure, it’s easy to say that anyone with a penis is male, and anyone with a vagina is female.  But in addition to genetic mutations that cause visible physically abnormalities and such, there’s the whole idea that despite having one set of genitals, in someone’s mind he/she might honestly identify or feel like the gender he/she doesn’t appear to be.

I should note that when I type he/she,  I mean he or she, and am not intending to be pun-ful.

But Mother Nature can in fact be a mad scientist, and while many forms only give us options to check off male or female, I’m pretty sure there are people out there who don’t completely identify with either, or are just unsure what’d be most appropriate to check off.

In addition, if you’re a transgendered/gender-bending/gender-confused actor, what category would the Oscar’s put you in if you were nominated?  I’m not talking about someone portraying a transgendered person, but a transgendered person who just happens to be a great actor.  Best Actor category?  Best Actress category? How would this work?

Anyway,  all of these thoughts are about rare cases and exceptions to the rules, but if not already, someday these situations will arise, and people will post links to the news story about it on their Facebooks.  Then I will post a link to this blog and be proud of myself for already having related thoughts on the subject.

I’m sure there are scientific, and politically correct explanations for the questions I’m about to bring up, but this blog is not really about doing legitimate research.  I prefer to just write what’s on my mind, and write as if me and you are having a conversation at a local tavern.  Not sure why I just said tavern, as opposed to bar.

Dictionary says a hermaphrodite is: an individual in which reproductive organs of both sexes are present.

How would it exactly work if two hermaphrodites date each other?  With billions of people in the world, such a situation must surely exist.  How is such a situation defined?  Do people like this have gay sex?  Do they have straight sex?  Do they have the option of having either?  Is it just considered Transgendered sex?  How does gender identity come into play?  If one of the hermaphrodites identifies as a male, and the other a female, no matter what genitals are interacting, would they always be having straight sex?

That’s pretty much all you need to know about how I feel about arguing neighbors.

A few weeks ago my upstairs neighbors had quite the drama.  This guy and this girl, a couple, went at it for hours — yelling, screaming, and crying until nearly 4am.  Although it would’ve been nice of them to let me sleep, I must admit it was probably one of the best reality shows ever.

Much of what these maniacs were saying was audible through my ceiling, walls, and windows, but I was not able to hear every single word.  Basically, it was the dude’s apartment, and he just found out his girl cheated on him, repeatedly, with her ex!  Juicy.

He just kept crying, and yelling for her to “Get the fuck out!  Get the fuck out of my house!  Get the fuck out of my life!  You’re a liar!  All you do is lie!”

Not to be biased to my own gender, but it sounded like the guy wasn’t at fault at all.   This girl actually blamed her infidelity on her “own insecurity.”  Oh, shut up.  She kept trying to seduce him to calm him down, in attempts to get him to give her one more chance.

At one point they went out on the balcony for a cigarette, and I could hear every single word, crystal clear.  He went on, “You’re a cool girl, but not right for me.”  She was begging for more chances, and I so desperately wanted to chime in.

It would’ve been hilarious (at least to me) if some voice out of nowhere would’ve randomly blurted out an opinion on the situation.  “Dude, you can do better. There are plenty of girls in L.A.”

In the end I decided to bite my tongue, and stay out of this.  I’m proud of myself for exercising restraint.  You people should be proud of me, too.

So how did this all end?  Who knows, and who cares.

Depending on what we’re applying for, often we’ll cater our résumés to increase our odds of landing a particular job.  Many résumés will include an “interests/hobbies,” or a “special skills” section.

I was wondering if some of these things ought to be included…

If you have good “gaydar,” maybe that oughta be added to a résumé.  While my gaydar is average/below average (probably because I’m straight for one thing), I actually do have pretty good “Jewdar.”  I couldn’t pick out every Jew in a crowd, but when I claim to spot one, I’m usually pretty on the money.  Besides Jewdar and gaydar, there are other meaningless abilities some people have.

Like what about “sexdar?”  Sometimes I’ll see people in the supermarket — -and have no idea what sex he or she is.   I’m sure some people are better than others at identifying the actual sex of androgynous folk.

Other times, it’s tough tell the race/background of a person — or if someone is multi-racial, what the breakdown is.

You probably think these types of questions are irrelevant, and people shouldn’t be judged by any of this stuff — especially in the workplace.  This is true. But at the same time, our sexual identity, orientation, genetic background, and heritage are all big parts of our makeup as people.

Besides, we’re all curious people by nature.

You’re lying if you’ve never had a convo that went something like, “I wonder if that guy/girl is ____ ”

That’s why it’s good to have people around who have accurate intuitions for this kinda stuff — to avoid asking these awkward/irrelevant/personal questions directly!

The other wrestlers must have really hated Hulk Hogan.  Even though it’s all scripted, the same result repeatedly has to have gotten annoying for the other wrestlers, who were forced to lose to Hogan.  He was constantly kicking out of the opponents best finishing move!  I can’t think of a good analogy for this, but I’m working on it….

Forcing a girl to sneeze could potentially be a good ice breaker.  Covertly toss some powder or something into the air.  Achoo!  “God bless you.”  “Why thank you, sir”.  BOOM.  You’re in conversation.

I suppose it could be the ultimate when one gay lover says to another, “I’m gonna give it to you so good, you’re gonna get pregnant.”   I mean that’s some real passion there.  Passion so powerful that it defies the laws of nature!

It’s true.  Some women are jealous of convincing trannies.

Why is it so hard for marathon runners to date each other?  — Because it’s a long distance relationship.

I’m bored with one person telling another,  “go fuck yourself”.  That’s why I was delighted when I heard one friend tell another to “cum into a turkey baster, then shoot it up your own butt”.  Graphic, insulting, and more creative.  That’s better.