Adam J. Choit

Enjoy!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/7500124626/adam-s-fashion-rescue

Maybe I’m running out of ideas, because I’ve already written posts related to Windex, and killing bugs.  However, I have yet to write about both of these things in the same post!

Anyway, recently I saw a couple of flies flying around the stove area in my apartment.  Reacting quickly, I grabbed a bottle of Windex, and shot down these flies mid-flight.   In other words, not only did I kill bugs with the Windex, I proceeded to wipe down the area that was the scene of their murder.

I’m now into killing and cleaning — at the same time.

Forget about killing two birds with one stone, how about two flies with one bottle of Windex?

I guess what I mean is that by literally killing flies/cleaning,  I’m figuratively killing birds with stones.

If you don’t know what Soy Vay is, it is a line of sauces available in stores.  It was created by a Jewish guy,  and an Asian girl…..hence the name.

http://www.soyvay.com

Pretty much four out of the five workdays, I’ll make my own Teriyaki bowl for lunch.   Chicken breast, broccoli, rice, and shredded carrots —- and Soy Vay Teriyaki sauce.   With all that other stuff being pretty healthy, it’s the sauce that really puts this meal over the top, by giving it a yumful flavor.

My only complaints about the product would be that it pours out too much too quickly, and is kind of high in fat.  For the record, I use the “Veri Veri Teriyaki” kind.

Luckily,  I’ve found a way to get the most out of this product.  I add some hot water.   That’s right, simply by pressing down the red nozzle on the water cooler, and by adding a bit of liquid to my Teriyaki bowl, I create a much more succulent tasting meal.  Being completely honest here, none of the taste is compromised, and more of the food in the bowl gets Teriyaki-ized.

Want more reasons why this is a genius idea?  For one, adding hot water keeps the food hot longer.  Also, this technique saves money, by making the bottle of sauce last that much longer.  And of course, less sauce being used equals less fat intake into my body.

Adding water to a diminishing bottle of most liquids isn’t effective…but hot water + Soy Vay = pure brilliance.

Ralph’s Supermarket seems to get a lot of mention in my blog, and although I don’t hate the store, it’s not my favorite food store either.

(See posts about Fresh & Easy)

Anyway, many Ralph’s locations here in Los Angeles have elevators in them.  The reason is because many stores have 2nd level parking, and large elevators provide a way for customers to get up and down (with their carts).

When you get into one of these elevators, you’ll see there aren’t many options in terms of buttons to press.  It’s pretty much 1 for ground level, 2 for upper level.  Sometimes, it’s just 2 buttons, without any real indication for what they represent.  (I guess Ralph’s thinks since they’re only 2 options, that we can figure this out).

If I’m the first person to get on the elevator, followed by another person, often I’ll be the one to push the button for us.

Usually I’ll look at the other person and ask, “Where to?”   This will almost always get a reaction.

Sometimes, a smile, or even a laugh.    This is good way to strike up a conversation with someone.

Even though his head and body are now probably located in different zip codes, Ted Williams was once not only a spectacular baseball player, but also a financially savvy human.

According to a buddy of mine, the long-time Boston Red Sox legend used to try to pay for stuff using personal checks as much as possible.

His thinking was that, “Well, mostly everyone knows me, and I am awesome.  I am so awesome that people want my autograph.  If my signature is on a check, it probably won’t be cashed.”

If I could, I would stretch Fresh & Easy’s free samples into an entire meal.   Actually, I’ve never met a single other human that doesn’t like free samples.

If we taste something and enjoy it, our instincts tell us that we want more of it.  However, in “society” it’s often frowned upon to go back for seconds.  The point I’m making here is that nobody just “pigs out” at the free sample station.

Here’s what I say though — You have to do a lap around the store first, possibly zig-zagging through every aisle.   Then upon your return to the free sample station, you may go back for seconds.

The other day I went into the supermarket to purchase some burgers to bring to a bbq.   I went into the store specifically to get the meat, buns, and cheese.

I’m just wondering why the burgers come in packs of 12, and all the options for buns come in packs of 8.

Ralph’s supermarket offers 4 or 5 different types of burgers in packs of 12.  In other words, 12-packs are apparently a popular option, so why not have 12-packs of buns for people?  I suppose that some of the more gourmet-ish burgers come in packs of 4 or 8, so 8-packs of buns does make some sense.

What about selling buns in a 4-pack, in addition to the 8-pack?   That’d make some sense, and even things up.  Otherwise what are my options here?   Purchase a couple of 12-packs of burgers and 3 packages of buns?

How hard are you willing to work to find a common denominator?  How many burgers are you willing to eat?

Recently I decided to venture to Off Broadway Shoes, a large shoe warehouse on Sunset Blvd near my apartment.   I had an idea of what kind of shoes I was going to look for, but there was no guarantee that I was going to purchase a pair  — just wanted to look.

What I did intend on purchasing though was shoelaces, black shoelaces.  Black shoelaces for two pairs of sneakers I plan to work back into my footwear rotation.

After glancing at some shoes for a while, I decided not to purchase a pair.  I decided it was then time to get my shoelaces and move on with my life.

I figured this place would keep shoelaces near the register — ya know by the socks, the polishes, and other accessories.  After wandering around in circles for 10 straight minutes on my search, I asked the cashier….

“Do you guys sell shoelaces?” Her reply?  “No, we don’t.”

After glancing around this giant warehouse, which sells almost every type of shoe and shoe accessory imaginable, there was only one thing I could think of to say next…

“HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?”

Why are you making fun of advancing technology?  What did it ever do to you? (Besides help create bombs, machines guns, and biochemical warfare).  Keep in mind I’m referring to consumer technology from here on out.

I remember when we all first started hearing about the iPad.   It was hip to make fun of it, especially the name.

Listen, I understand the significance when it comes to reviewing products on the market.  Humans spend their hard earned money on top-tier electronics.  We should be smart shoppers, having done our research.

At the same time though, these days I feel that mocking technology has become a relevant part of our popular culture, often an annoying one at that.

I just fear we’ve all become so far removed from reality, that we’re too busy mocking something like the iPad.   Could we be losing sight of actually how amazing it is that such a device even exists in this world?……especially when considering what our species started with…

I recently went into the Van Nuys, CA Target (by work), and was looking for one of those red baskets to shop with.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any by the entrance, or any by the registers.  Where could they all be?  Weird.

The other strange thing is that Target (and I’m sure other stores as well) uses this metal contraption that holds stacked baskets.  What’s bizarre is that the last basket remaining on this stand or whatever — IS ACTUALLY LOCKED DOWN.

Is it a prop?  Does this keep the rack from falling over, or from blowing away?   Are there high speed winds in Target stores?

I started to consider other ways to transport my soon-to-be purchases.  Sure, I could’ve just grabbed one of the baskets they had for sale, and used that.   I could’ve brought that to the register, and said, “No, I’m not buying this basket, just everything inside it.”

What I did do is just grab a plastic bag from the register, and walked around the store with that —- which is the new school to shop, bringing your items in a plastic bag TO the register.

If you read this whole thing, you do realize you’re never gonna get that time back.