Adam J. Choit

How many different types of dogs and dog breeds are out there?  Seemingly countless ones.  I’m not a scientist, a veterinarian, or someone who retained much from high school biology, so honestly, I’m not exactly sure what makes a dog a dog.  Sure, I could do some research, but it doesn’t take research to know at least one quality that makes a dog a dog —- it can have sex with, and make babies with other dogs.

While there are many breeds of (domesticated) cats out there too, cats all pretty much come in the relatively the same sizes and shapes.  In other words, mating between any two cats doesn’t seem like a wild and bizarre event.  Whereas with dogs, they come in all different sizes and shapes, and if you were new to this planet you might not think of a German Shepherd and a Chihuahua as the same thing — a canine.

Although we’ve got a long way to go in this country in terms of overcoming our prejudices, at least interracial, interfaith, and inter-anything relationships are slowly becoming more and more accepted.  A dog probably looks at human interracial dating and thinks,  “Big deal.  You think skin color makes you look so different?  You think because you’re white and she’s black you guys are so different?  I’m a Great Dane and last week I banged a Poodle and a Yorkshire Terrier.”

The other night for one reason or another, I found myself watching videos of cats and babies on YouTube.  Not separately of course, these were videos of cats and babies, together.  These two things combined form a deadly combination of cuteness!

Despite many of the horrible acts our species has committed, and will continue to commit on this planet, we’re still pretty evolved creatures, and possess very complex brains.   As far as I know, our brains are just more developed than pretty much every other species of animal on this planet…right?

But what about baby people?  I would for sure say that an 8 year old cat is way smarter than a 2 month old human baby.  The cat has a way better understanding of the surrounding world, is waaaaaaay more equipped for survival.  A baby can’t do shit for itself.   The only shit a baby does on it’s own is poop!

This all got me thinking…..At what age would you say a human person becomes “smarter” than the average cat?  3 years old?  4?   5?  Older?

Do we ever reach an age when we become smarter than cats?

If you’ve ever ventured to sporcle.com, it’s filled with countless different fun quizzes that you can take.  It’s pretty much the best way to waste your time.

One quiz I took asked the question, “What are the top 10 countries in the world in terms of population of cats?”

The first country I guessed was the United States, which was the number one answer.  We have over 76 million cats here.

Next, I of course guessed both Canada and Mexico.

NEITHER WAS EVEN IN THE TOP 10.

Man, cats are some smart people.   They know how cold it is in Canada…and they also know how poor Mexico is.  What logic.   I love it.

Growing up I think all of us had a friend with a pet named “Oreo.”  Usually intended for a black and white cat or dog, it’s possible that even some black and white rodents were named Oreo. If you named your pet Oreo, but it wasn’t even black and white, then wow, that is pretty stupid (unless the name was intended to be some kinda ironic twist).

Next to the Oreos in the cookie aisle used to be Hydrox cookies:

Quite similar to Oreos (I think the thicker cream in Hyrdox was the only difference)…

Anyway, you shoulda named your dog Hydrox.  That shit is a cute name, man.  And everyone chooses Oreo, bleh.

At work, at our weekly meetings we watch episodes of House Hunters together.  Every time there is a quick image of a dog or puppy on the screen, the majority of my co-workers go, “awwwwwwww.”  Like I said, it doesn’t matter if it’s a dog or puppy, canines always get the awwwwwww.

On the flip-side, nobody says shit when a cat makes an appearance.  Sure, they’ll aww for a kitten, but not for full-grown felines.  ALL CATS ARE AWW-WORTHY, too.