Adam J. Choit

Believe me, as a full grown human male at 5’7 1/2″ (gotta throw that half in there), I’ve dealt with my fair share of insecurity when it has come to my height.  I’ve pretty much come to terms with the fact that I never was/is/will be a tall person, or even a person of average height for my gender.

This post isn’t specifically intended to attack MaxTall, but it was their commercial I caught the other day, so it is them who has inspired my wrath.  I understand why people want to alter their physical appearances.  Like MaxTall’s site says, being taller (or improving whatever it is about your physical appearance) can boost one’s confidence, garner more attention, or even lead to more success in one’s life.  We all want to look our best, and feel our best, but at what point does this all become a joke and a lie?

At least with plastic surgery, there’s a certain level of visible permanence to it, that lets the eye judge the quality of the work.  With shoe lifts, you’re just living a lie.  The commercial for MaxTall is also so over the top.  Basically they show “Mike,” some short dude, standing next to some hot chick, Cindy.  The voice over goes, “Cindy isn’t paying attention to him at all..but watch what happens after Mike adds a couple of inches to his height.”  Then all of a sudden Cindy is interested in his shiz.

BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CINDY FINDS OUT MIKE IS NOT ACTUALLY AS TALL AS HE ORIGINALLY APPEARED TO BE?  She will probably think Mike is an insecure, lame, lying, superficial dude.  Moreover, she’ll be disappointed when she finds out he’s not as tall as she thought he was.  Mike will then reply, “But what about my awesome personality that you liked?  That’s still the same.”  Cindy will then go, “I don’t know.  I just see you in a different light now.” Then Mike will probably say, “Well I guess if you’re hung up on height, then you’re just superficial,” prompting Cindy to reply, “Me superficial?  You’re the one wearing shoe lifts in the first place.”

In order to avoid all this, don’t wear shoe lifts.  And don’t date people like Mike or Cindy.

This really could apply to any type of minority, but sometimes you’re one, and then another of that appears.

The other day I was at a birthday party for my friend Cindy’s husband, and while standing next to me she yells across the room, “Hey I found another Jew for you.”  It was something like that.  Now Cindy’s never struck me as a seriously racist person, so wtf do I care what she says…Plus, it was funny.

Anyway, I look across the room, and before I know it some Jew broad is shouting to me that she’s actually an atheist.  Then I found myself yelling across the room that “I’m afraid of commitment and like to play it safe as an agnostic.”

I like having (faking my way through) intelligent conversations about topics like politics or religion, but something seemed odd about shouting my deepest inner beliefs across the room at a party.