Adam J. Choit

Me and good friend Bozzz will often “IM” each other song lyrics to the song we might be currently listening to as we chat online.  Not sure why, I guess it’s a way of singing/typing along to the music.  Somehow this can deviate into perversion.

ME:  PAPA WUZZA ROLLING STONE

BOZZZ:  WHEREVER HE LAID HIS HAT WAS HIS HOME

BOZZZ:  I laid ur mom in my home.

ME:  I fucked ur mom in my home without a jimmy hat.

BOZZZ: I had sexual intercourse with your mother inside your father

ME:  I had sexual intercourse with ur mom and stuck both my left and right fists up her anus simultaneously

BOZZZ:  I had sexual intercourse with your mom and was so far inside her my penis came out of her mouth and then went into your sister

ME:  I had my penis so far up ur mom’s ass that it came out her vagina so she blew me too

BOZZZ:  I LOVE US

ME:  Me too.

Bozzzy finally seems serious about adopting a kitten this weekend.  I want to go help pick one out.  Unfortunately, I’m in LA and he’s in NY.

Anyway, I usually could care less if the people I IM are actually at their computers.  You being present at the time I’m contacting you isn’t important!  The important thing is that assuming your computer don’t fuck up overnight, you see my awesome enlightening messages in the morning.

Me (2:17:06 AM): i want to go kitten shopping with u

Me (2:17:08 AM): life sucks

Me (2:18:08 AM): just find one that comes to you, isn’t ugly, and doesn’t pee on the floor

Last night was another prime example —- of how I just sit back and while being awed by technological advances, also seem to be able find some of technology’s over-the-top stupid moments.

I’m talking to Dave Wheeler online, and he’s telling me his computer is “fucked up.”  In the middle of my Lakers analysis, he informs me some dude “BarnE” (Barney) will be taking over the reigns.

In my head, I pictured BarnE sitting at Dave’s computer. That wasn’t the case. BarnE ghost-accessed Dave’s computer from another location, and was able to ghost-type and move the mouse around, and perform just about every imaginable function (just like a company I.T. guy typically can/does).

Anyway, on his computer was my IM box, so I typed, “BarnE?.”  No response from him.  Dave saw my IM, but his computer was currently locked, so he couldn’t respond.  He then texts BarnE telling him to respond to my instant message, and then texts me telling me what he told BarnE.

Pure 21st century ridiculousness.