Adam J. Choit

I can’t stop feeling nothing but hatred towards their ad campaign — the one in which humans eat food, enjoy it , and are surprised when what they have eaten is revealed to have been prepared by Pizza Hut.  Let us think about this for a second.  What does this really mean?

It means that Pizza Hut has come up with a campaign that is an admission.  They admit to themselves that the general public has a perception that they make a terrible and awful product.  The campaign tries to make their food seem to taste like normal food, the stuff you and I eat.  STOP TRYING TO ACQUIRE NEW MARKETS.  Stick with your regulars please.  Poor people and other helpless fast food addicts.  Thanks.

Whatever.  Pizza Hut is quite aware that everyone plainly knows they have always sucked, suck now, and will continue to suck as long as they are still making and selling food to the public.

Apparently you can do that now.  That’s right, ordering food is as easy as pressing a few letters and numbers on your cell-y/ullar/piece/phone.  I think college kids should be allowed to take advantage of this service that Pizza Hut provides.  However, regular normal people should not be allowed to regularly send text messages to such a greasy shithole.

The most dangerous aspect of this is that no real thought goes into your order.  1 pepperoni pizza, breadsicks, a soda.  Some stupid shit like that (I imagine).

It’s not like you’re texting a girl,  contemplating then crafting the most brilliant text messages known to man.  It’s only Pizza Hut!

Pizza Hut is something I’ll eat maybe twice a year, and soon after consumption, I’ll experience incredible regret (internally).  Anyway, you may or may not have seen these commercials they’re running on TV in which they replace “restaurant pasta” with that of Pizza Hut.

At one point a title pops up, “Actual Footage,” or something along those lines.  Once the clientele is told they’re eating Pizza Hut food, they are shocked, if not pleasantly surprised.

THIS IS ALL COMPLETE BULLSHIT.  There’s no possible way it’s a hidden camera for one thing, because it just doesn’t look like it is at all.  Also, if you eat in a good restaurant, and then somebody tells you that you are eating Pizza Hut, gagging followed by anger is a much more likely reaction.

Most of all though, what moron wouldn’t know that they are eating processed awfulness?